Collateral Damage
by Xenophobic Doll
Summary: Bumblebee falls for the human woman he accidently runs over while being chased by Barricade. Some Humor. Includes vampires. Lucien LaCroix amongst others. MmMMMm.. Vampires and giant robots. Rated for language and smut.
1. Collateral Damage

Setting: Movieverse, Characters: Bumblebee, Prime, Ratchet, Sam, Alexia (invented character), Barricade.

Notes: It has been brought to my attention (a review) that the chapters appear to be written in bold AND underlined. For whatever reason, it does not look that way to me. A quick poke around the HTML editor showed me the bold and underline tags. I believe I've corrected the problem, but it's hard to say for sure; it looks the same as it did earlier (to me, anyway). If the formatting still looks jacked up, please let me know, so I can try again to fix it. Ghost Guy is a douche, but he has a point: Excessive formatting is tacky.

Collateral Damage

Chapter 1

It was supposed to be a fun, casual day while Sam was in school. A nice drive around the city to kill some time, a bit of people watching, and then back by three o'clock in the afternoon to be ready for Sam. A very simple plan, but sadly, it seemed those were always the plans that were the least likely to work out properly. Hind sight was always 20-20.

Having no idea that his plan would fail miserably that day, Bumblebee turned off the school parking lot, and headed for the new strip mall that had just been built on the outer edge of town. It was a busy place, and it was ideal for human watching. As much as Bee adored Sam (he had to, obviously, to request to stay with the boy as his friend and means of transportation) sitting in the school parking lot 5 days a week got boring after a short period of time. A REALLY short period of time.

His sleek yellow alt-form flowed easily down the road, straight through the middle of town, the most direct way to the mall. His Camaro body turned heads, but that was ok, as for once, he'd actually remembered to activate his hologram driver. He'd turn the hologram off at the strip mall. He'd learned that while human watching it was best to appear to be an EMPTY parked car.

He'd been watching youngsters playing touch football at the local park once, and made the mistake of leaving his hologram turned on. At first the parents of the children in the park had assumed he was waiting to pick someone up, his son or daughter, perhaps. After a few hours though, Bee began to hear whispered phrases of "sex pervert" and "possible kidnapper" all followed with looks in his general direction.

Definitely best to look like an empty parked car.

He meant no harm, and certainly hadn't meant to frighten anyone. He just found all the joyful playing and horsing around amusing.

He was lost in these thoughts, and therefore didn't notice he was being followed right away. The sleek black and white police vehicle pulled behind Bumblebee without fanfare- he was TRYING to be quiet. Only a few months had passed since Bumblebee had left him wounded and in pain. Unfortunately for Bumblebee, the Autobot hadn't found it necessary to kill him.

That was HIS mistake.

Barricade slowly passed the Mercedes between himself and the Autobot. The woman in the Benz glanced to her right as she saw the officer start to pass, before automatically checking her speedometer to make sure she wasn't speeding between the red lights. She immediately did a double-take, and stared back at the police car. Was it just her, or did that car have "To Enslave and Punish…" written on it instead of "To Serve and Protect…" ? She couldn't quite check without pulling up beside the cop car again to reread it, and she was NOT about to do that. Besides, it was probably her imagination. Still, she slowed down a bit just to be safe.

Luck was on Barricades side. The little yellow bastard didn't notice him until he was smack in the middle of the busiest part of the city. That was what he'd been hoping for. The only thing better than causing grievous damage to Bumblebee was the thought of possibly getting in some human collateral damage while he was at it. Then he'd fade back, and disappear. Let their army clean up the mess, while he laughed from the sidelines, perhaps in an all new, freshly scanned, alt-form.

When Bumblebee came back from woolgathering, he snapped to attention to find Barricade less than a car length away from him, and coming on fast. Bee floored it. His sleek car body jumped forward, goosed by the power suddenly flooding the engine. Barricade was taken somewhat by surprise, but he had no intention of letting the Autobot escape. He speeded up with him, the high powered engine underneath his hood doing his bidding. He rammed Bumblebee's back fender. There was pain, a bright flash of it, but the shriek of metal kissing off metal seemed louder on Bumblebee's end, and sure enough, when he backed off about six inches, he could see way more damage to Bee's alt-form than to his own. Anyone looking at the patrol car's grille at that time would have sworn the vehicle seemed to be grinning.

Sickening pain rolled through Bumblebee as Barricade crashed into him, but he ignored it, moved faster. So far, he'd been lucky, his timing perfect as he roared through intersections at breakneck speeds, dodging between vehicles as though he was playing high-stakes Frogger. Somewhere in his deeper processors, he realized that Barricade was being completely silent- no sirens. No alarms. No WARNING. He didn't want the humans to realize something was wrong until maybe they'd gotten run over. THEN it would be ok if they noticed.

Bee warned them himself. He didn't use a police siren. His alt-body wasn't equipped with one, so producing it would have been more difficult. Instead he produced his own sound, a sound, that while not completely the sound of an emergency vehicle, was close enough to resonate with the humans to stay out of the way.

Bee raced to get outside traffic, afraid that Barricade would grow impatient with a hit here and a scrape there, and just start blasting in the middle of a busy street. He made a fast succession of lefts and rights, and thought that he was home free. In front of him was a nearly deserted residential area that ran into open highway that led out of town. Bee turned off his wailing call and let his attention go briefly to Barricade, trying to keep tabs on the Decepticon.

It was a mistake.

He had a dim impression of a round red child's ball rolling into his path, followed immediately by a small child with blonde hair so pale it was nearly white. The boy saw the yellow camaro bearing down on him, and his face drained of color instantly, giving him the look of an albino child. The boy FROZE.

The Autobot slammed on his breaks. He wasn't going to stop in time, there was no way. He didn't even have time to transform. He felt his brakes lock. His tires lost traction. He felt himself start to slide, rear wheels slipping to the front. He howled in horror; in misery. Anything, anything but a child!

Suddenly, there was someone there, between him and the child. He got the impression of flowing dark red hair, and had enough time to think, "It's a female." At the same time this thought left his processors, the woman was heaving, shoving the terrified boy away, and to the side. He flew, almost, sliding to a stop on his hands and knees. The skin was scrubbed off of them, and off of his chin too, when his momentum caused him to face plant on the sidewalk, but he was alive, blessfully alive, and before Bumblebee had the chance to even consider being grateful for THAT, he felt his rear bumper slam into the back of the woman's legs with a sickening crack. She flew up, straight in the air, and landed half on Bee's trunk and half on his rear window. He felt his window crack, but didn't really care, could really not give a shit less about it because in the next instant, he heard the sound of her, the woman that was an angel to one small boy, hit the ground with a meaty thud.


	2. Holy Man Eating Plants, Batman!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2

(One Week Later)

Alexis Knight blew a strand of red hair from her face, and closed her green eyes in annoyance. The press was starting to gripe her ass. They were making her out to be some sort of saint, actually dubbing her the "Angel of Mercy" for saving that little boy. Ryan was his name. Actually, she was glad she'd managed to get him out of danger with nothing more than superficial scrapes, but the bottom line was, she wasn't some hero running about town looking for people to rescue like the papers and television made out. She'd seen what was happening, had seen it in near slow motion, and she found herself between the boy and the yellow camaro before she realized she was going to do it.

And he'd survived. Granted, her wounds turned out to be much more than superficial, MUCH more, but they weren't as bad as they could have been. Not nearly. When the car had hit her, it seemed to her that the metal that slammed into the back of her legs had… softened somehow. She didn't tell the investigators that. They'd think she was nuts.

_The car didn't want me to get hurt_, she thought, and immediately chided herself for being silly, or insane. Whichever seemed most likely. Still though, insane or not, she HAD gotten off easy. Two green stick fractures of the tibia's in each leg. No crushed and pulverized bones, no amputation needed, nothing of the horrors that were common in accidents like hers. Only simple, clean breaks (_because the car had absorbed the damage_) and a massive concussion. When she landed on the pavement, her head snapped back, and hit the street with brutal force. There had been no skull fracture, but her scalp had split from the force of the blow, and stitches had been necessary. Lex believed that her head injury was making her believe the odd things, like the idea the metal of the car had somehow softened up as it hit her, and even worse, that it had made her imagine the mechanical yet agonized wail of grief that had come from the car just before she blacked out.

Definitely had to be the head injury. Had to be.

Bumblebee wallowed in misery for a week. He would have continued wallowing in said misery if it hadn't been for Sam.

The guilt of hitting the woman (he later learned her name was Alexis Knight) was eating him alive. Autobots did NOT harm humans if it was at all avoidable, and the fact that the others seemed to think there was no way for Bumblebee to avoid hitting her did him no good whatsoever. He kept replaying the events of that day over and over in his head, wishing he'd just stayed in the school parking lot, wishing he'd never turned down that street, wishing he hadn't taken his optic sensors off of the road even for a second. All of the wishing did him no good. If ya had shit in one hand and wishes in the other, in the end, you were just left with shit. Bumblebee knew this to be fact.

The woman had blacked out pretty quickly after being hit, and he'd immediately sent a data transmission to both Ratchet and Prime, nearly begging for their assistance. Ratchet contacted the closest emergency services, and Prime, while en route, contacted their government affiliates. Thus, the cover-up had begun. Bumblebee knew that Alexis Knight would be told there'd been no trace of the person that hit her, despite all efforts to find him/her. In reality, there would be NO effort to find him. The United States Government would see to that.

This denial made Bee feel worse. He wanted to tell her it had been an accident. That he'd never meant to harm anyone. He wanted her to know he'd done his best to soften the blow she'd taken from his smooth metal body.

"No, Bumblebee." That is what Optimus Prime told him.

"Why not, sir? The humans will find out about us one day. And probably fairly soon."

"Because Bumblebee, for now, we are hiding amongst them. To reveal our presence would likely cause a panic that neither ourselves or the government are currently prepared for. We agreed with them, that we would consider revealing ourselves only after our base was fully completed. We may need shelter from attack after our presence is known."

Misery settled even deeper into Bumblebee's systems. He glanced at the large screen television in their half finished rec-room. Once again, he saw her image on the screen. Her frail body being loaded into an ambulance. Pictures of her laughing with her friends. If only she hadn't been so heroic…

It was Sam Witwicky that helped him to lighten his burdened Spark. They'd been outside in the large, secluded field that would contain their base. Sam was sprawled merrily on his back, gazing at the sky. He glanced at Bumblebee, and felt a pang for the Autobot. If Bee's eyes (optic sensors) had been capable of leaking lubricants like a human's, half the state would have been flooded.

"Did Prime give you permission to try and explain to her what happened?"

Bumblebee shook his head. Sam got up, walked over to Bee and sprawled on the mech's foot. He knew the contact would help soothe his friend, and he desperately wanted to help. Bee's appearance in Sam's life had changed it for the better, in so many ways.

"Well, he didn't say you couldn't go see her, did he?"

Bee fixed Sam with a steady blue gaze, "I cannot disobey an order from a commanding officer, Sam."

"Well, see, it wouldn't really be disobeying an order would it? Optimus said you weren't allowed to talk to her, to make your presence known. He never said you couldn't, you know, just go look in on her, make sure she's doing as ok as the news says she is. That'd help you feel better right? If you were to watch over her a bit?" Sam looked a bit nervous at his own suggestion… he wasn't too keen on defying Prime himself. He was however, very keen on helping out his companion, and if his suggestion helped, so be it.

In the end it had. Bee had wrangled with the decision, but told himself he'd only see her once, just once, to make sure she was well. Her room was in the back of the hospital, on the second floor. He went there, in the dead of night, projecting a hologram in front of him, to avoid being spotted by other patients and looked carefully in her window. To his surprise, she was awake, even at 5 a.m. He watched entranced as she worked on the most fanciful painting he'd ever seen, and then went into a fit of giggles as she tried to maneuver her wheel chair into the bathroom and failed miserably the first three attempts.

The one night he'd given himself to check on her quickly turned into 7 and then to 14. Even after she went home, he followed her there to peek in on her. He was charmed by her cheerfulness and kind nature. He also noticed that with her red hair, green eyes, and cream complexion, she didn't look bad for a human. He liked her, and he liked her shape.

* * *

Lex felt as though she was being watched. She'd had that feeling for quite awhile now, usually in the wee hours of the night; it was like an itchy spot in the center of her back that wouldn't go away. However, whenever she turned around to look, there was no one there. She called Nick, the closest thing she had to a father, to ask if perhaps Lucien had been down, spying on her while she was gimped out, despite her stated wishes to the contrary. She really didn't like showing mortal weakness to them, especially not to Lucien Lacroix. Nick assured her that neither of them had been down there, but quickly pointed out that they would be there in a heartbeat if she decided she needed them.

Lex loved them, the both of them, more than anything, but she really didn't want them there to see her confined to a wheelchair (no matter how temporarily it might be). She didn't want their pity. But most of all, she didn't want them upset. They'd been especially protective since Jeanette's death.

Now, as she sat brushing her hair in the downstairs guest bedroom that was currently serving as her own room, she felt that same itchy spot in the middle of her back again. Lex began to worry. She bought her house because it was set well away from her neighbors on a very large property. Normally, this was great. But now, if someone really was stalking her, say, the same person that ran her over, or someone worse, she was all alone in a place where no one would see anything, no one would hear her scream. The bright side was that at least the nurse that stopped by to check on her throughout the day, would find her in the morning, before her corpse got too ripe. On second thought, Lex decided this wasn't much of a bright side at all.

Not at all.

Pretending that nothing was wrong, she looked as though she was absorbed in brushing her long red mane, as well as watching cartoons on the television. Because of that, when she suddenly whipped around, she took Bumblebee completely by surprise. Shocked as he was, though, he had nothing on her. Lex's mouth opened, and her bottom jaw seemed to drop to the floor. She stared openly, and the brush dropped from her hand. She took in the (to her) huge robot with bright yellow paint and even brighter blue eyes, crouched outside her window, and said, of all the dumbass things that could have possibly jumped into her mind, "Holy man eating plants, Batman!"

* * *

Note: There is a slight Forever Knight crossover here. For any FK fans that read this, enjoy the reference, for those of you that have no idea what Forever Knight is, don't sweat it, I'll make the story stand alone, you won't have to know any of the FK back-story to get it.


	3. No Need to Apologize

Chapter 3

She stared at him for quite awhile. Bumblebee wasn't quite sure what to do. Clearly, ducking behind a tree real quick was NOT going to solve this. In the end, he just sat there, on his hands and knees and waited for her to do something. She'd said something about batman and man-eating plants already, but Bee had no clue what THAT was supposed to mean. He hoped that she'd give him a chance, and not flip out and scream or anything.. She did none of those things. She simply stared at him. First, in dumbfounded disbelief, then in pure curiosity and wonder.

"So like, tell me you're real, and I'm not just hallucinating on the massively bad ass pain pills the doc gave me."

"I am real," a pause, then, "aren't you afraid of me?'

Still continuing to stare, Lex said, "Logic tells me that you are the one that's been watching me. And, you're like, a ginormous robot. Surely, you have like, futuristic laser guns or something. You could've blown me away already if you wanted to. Or hell, you coulda just squished my happy ass. But you didn't. That tells me that most likely, you have no intention of hurting me."

Bee nodded. Made sense to him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Ask me anything you want."

Lex, for probably the first time in her life, was at a loss for words. It wasn't that she had nothing to say, it was that she had too much to say. Questions boiled out of her mind, one right after another, until she didn't know where to begin. She looked at the giant robots amazingly kind face and saw something of understanding in his expression.

She never would have thought she'd use the word 'kind' to describe an alien (she figured he had to be alien. She read "Popular Mechanics" and didn't recall ever seeing any shit like this in there) robot, but it was true. His face and blue eyes (is that what they were called?) were expressive, and not at all threatening.. In fact, it seemed really sweet.

"So um, I'm not trying to be rude, but, well, how do I refer to you? You sound male… calling anything 'it' seems rude, but like, I don't want to call you a guy if you're asexual or something. 'cause then maybe that would be rude too."

Bumblebee chuckled. "I am male. My name is Bumblebee."

Now Lex really DID stare. She rolled her wheelchair forward just a bit, so that they were only separated by half a room. "So let me get this straight, you're a big, giant, alien robot, GUY named… Bumblebee??"

Bee saw the humor in that, and chuckled. She giggled, and looked at him again. "Well, clearly you're comfortable with your sexuality."

Bumblebee looked puzzled at this, but decided not to say anything. He could tell she wasn't trying to be mean, and she wasn't through with her questions, and while he dreaded answering some of them, REALLY dreaded the thought of telling Prime what had happened, and didn't look forward to the potential trouble he could see this causing with Sam, he was thrilled that she was speaking with him, seemed curious and almost delighted by him. He'd answer anything she wanted to know.

"Why have you been watching me?"

Ugh. He'd hoped, futilely, that that question would slip her mind. No such luck. He lowered his head, and closed his optics, too afraid to see her reaction to his answer. "I wanted to make sure you were ok, to… look after you, so to speak. To make sure nothing else happened to you." He let everything flow from him quickly, the whole horrible truth, before he could lose his nerve. "It was I that hit you. Accidentally. It is no excuse, but I was being pursued by another of my kind, a… not very nice one. I was trying to lead him away from populated streets, afraid he'd harm humans… and I foolishly took my optics from the road. I am sorry."

Once again, another first. Lex found herself looking at one deeply pained robot. She found herself feeling sorry for HIM, after all, her pain had only been physical, and the doc's had given her stuff for that. She could see the guilt he'd been hanging on to. Without saying anything, she slowly rolled her chair to the sliding glass door at the back of her room. She'd had it open, allowing for a nice breeze. Now she rolled over to Bumblebee, who's face was just outside the door. She had to reach a little. He was down on his hands and knees, bent to human level, but being in a wheelchair, she was only four feet tall. She touched his face, marveling at how smooth the metal was, and how warm, considering it was somewhat cool outside. He jerked slightly at her touch.

"I'm sorry, if I was too familiar. I just wanted you to feel better."

Bee unshuttered his optics. "Don't be sorry."

"You either. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And I'm definitely not dead yet."

He studied her for a minute, and realized that she was serious. Mechanical blue eyes locked with emerald green organic eyes. He wanted her to go for a ride with him.

"I can't exactly drive in the shape I'm in. Also, I'm wearing pajamas."

He chuckled. "I'll drive." And with that, he transformed into a yellow camaro. He was parked parallel to the concrete patio outside her door. She carefully rolled outside, turned to her left to close the door, and then turned to face him again. The drivers door was open. Beckoning. She sat there for a minute, undecided. She was faintly worried, but more than anything, blotting out the worry was, exhilaration. This being, wanted her to go for a ride with (in?) him. Way cool. She rolled over to him, maneuvered herself carefully from chair to car, and slid into his driver seat. She pushed the chair back some, and he gently closed the door. The seatbelt clicked into place for her.

"Sam Witwicky says seatbelts are important. Safety first." Bumblebee's voice came softly through the radio.

Lex briefly wondered who this Witwhacky person was, but was at the moment more concerned with what to do with her hands. Bumblebee had pulled around her house, coming out at the side, and pulled on to the street. He seemed to be driving randomly, and that was fine with her, but she didn't quite know what to do with herself. Normally, she'd have her hands on the steering wheel, but he was driving, so that seemed rude. Also, his transformation had been amazing, but what if she put her hand on the wrong thing? Take the gear shifter for example, like what if that was the robot equivalent of car phallus?

"Um, Bumblebee? Let me know if I put my hands somewhere I shouldn't, okay?"

Another chuckle through the radio, then: "You can put your hands ANYWHERE you WANT."

Lex wondered if there had been innuendo in that sentence. It sounded like it. _Surely I didn't just get hit on by giant transformer guy_, she thought. Then dismissed the idea. His guilt had been painfully obvious. Likely, he was only spending time with her because he felt he owed her. Now that he knew she bore no ill will towards him, and had in fact forgiven him, she'd likely never see him again. She didn't hold that against him. She would enjoy tonight, and she would enjoy the knowledge that humans weren't alone in the universe. She had had plenty of amazing things in her life, after all, she was raised by vampires. To her, demanding that Bumblebee be a constant addition to her life seemed almost selfish.


	4. Time to Face the Music

Thanks to those that have reviewed, especially Cassi. Here's the newest chapter. It was a rough one. I totally had no problems watching it play out in my head, but getting it into words was a completely different animal. Hopefully it doesn't sound strained. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

Confession is good for the soul. Bee heard that on a television show he'd watched on the internet. He supposed there was probably some truth to that. Maintaining lies was hard work, especially if the being you were lying to was one like Optimus Prime. If Prime came out and specifically asked Bumblebee if he was spending time with the female human, he would have admitted the truth and come clean… but Prime had done no such thing, and Bee hadn't mentioned what he'd been up to, either. Not quite the same, as making up some big, fat story, but lying by omission still wasn't honest.

And that wasn't Bee.

His problem was that he was addicted. Lex made no demands on him. In fact, he was quite sure she expected to never see him again after their initial ride. But, no matter how much he told himself that he should leave well enough alone, he couldn't do it. He loved the feel of her. He loved her company, and he was damn afraid that he was beginning to love HER. Not good.

So here he was… four weeks after first talking to her, six weeks after hitting her, trying to come to a decision he could live with. He'd been with her nearly every night for the last 4 weeks. Sometimes driving, sometimes just transforming and sitting with her on his knee while they talked in her yard ("Yay for not having neighbors," Lex told him, the first time she suggested he take his robotic form.)

In the day time, he was Sam's of course. He stayed with the boy until his curfew of 11 p.m., but once Sam was safely home and in bed, he sped to Lex's house as quick as possible. He was fairly certain that Sam was aware of this, but the boy hadn't asked for details. He was also fairly certain (and, indeed he WAS correct) that Sam had adopted an attitude of wanting to know as little as possible because he was afraid that Prime might one day whip out the Autobot equivalent of the Lasso of Truth and, let's face it, (according to Sam) God only knew what kind of Autobot juju Prime had up his sleeve, and if Sam didn't know anything to begin with, then he, Sam, couldn't be forced to testify against his friend.

Bumblebee thought this was sound reasoning. He also thought it best not to mention to Sam that while Prime didn't have any lasso's, it was fairly easy for him, or any of the others to detect lying in humans. They just used their sensors to take the same type of measurements a polygraph machine would. (This was also how Bee knew full well that Sam had been lying when he told his mom he didn't masturbate… Sam's heart-rate increase had been pretty amazing after telling THAT whopper.) Speaking of Sam, he was finally waking up.

Bee pushed his worries out of his processors, banishing them to a infrequently used sub-system. Time to pay attention to his human. He laid on the horn, rousing Sam the rest of the way to wakefulness, and when the boy appeared at his window, Bee gave a soft toot on the horn, a friendly sort of greeting. Sam shot him a bird.

Sam came padding out of the house, dressed in jeans and a tee, with no shoes. Or socks. Even more surprising, instead of climbing in, Sam closed the driver's door that Bee opened and leaned against it.

"I think Imma just hang around the house today, Bee, like, do some chores, watch cartoons, that sort of thing. So uh, if there's anyone you wanna go do, (he cleared his throat) I mean, ANYTHING you wanna go do, I'm not going to complain, ya know, if you aren't here." That said, Sam looked around in a nervous sort of way. Prime could be hiding in the bushes.

Bee revved his engines, and bumped Sam's leg in an affectionate sort of way. Thanks. Sam returned the gesture, giving his car a playful slap on the hood. "Go to it handsome man. Impress the lady." Then: "Wait a sec, Bee, I'll be right back."

More than a little confused, he watched as Sam went flying back into the house, only to come out a few minutes later, toting what looked like two dozen pink roses. Where'd he get those? WHEN did he get those??

Sam opened the drivers door of the yellow Camaro, and deposited the roses on the drivers seat, "Here."

"Sam, I had no idea you felt this way…"

"Shut up! You just shut the hell up!" Sam's face flushed even redder with the burst of laughter than issued from Bee's speakers. "I got Mom to pick them up, I think she thinks they're for Mikaela. Anyway, take them to your lady friend. I'm going back to living in ignorant bliss."

"Thanks"

"No problem." Sam started backing towards the house, simultaneously trying to give Bee a supportive thumbs up while checking in the neighbors runner beans for any giant blue and red robots that might be in the area. Sam gave Bee another foolish grin and a wave before darting in the front door of his house.

For his part, Bee pulled out of the driveway so fast he left rubber on the driveway.

* * *

They used saws to remove the plaster casts from each of her legs. The saws made Lex paranoid. What if the doctor sneezed? THAT would be bad. Oh, and look here ladies and gentleman, just when she finished telling herself to quit trying to replace her deep fear of clowns with an even deeper fear of doctors with sinus problems, she finds out the doctor isn't even going to be using the saw. A technician of some sort was going to use it. The doc was just going to observe. Well that was just great. At least the doctor would be close if the tech jacked up the procedure.

What do you call someone that graduated from medical school with all A's? A doctor. What do you call someone that graduated medical school with straight C's? A doctor. It was an old joke, kind of disturbing, too, but at least the guy that made nothing but C's was a doctor. The tech that came in to remove her plaster burdens looked more like an orderly than anything, and once again, she started thinking that she came in to get her casts removed, but would end up leaving one leg short instead.

She was being melodramatic. Turns out, the tech knew exactly what he was doing, and the casts were removed without a drop of blood being shed. What she wasn't expecting was how bad they'd look.

Ack! From the knee down, they were pasty white and hairy. She expected the hairy part, and had come prepared with her razor and raspberry rain shaving gel. What she hadn't expected was the disgusting build up of dead skin, or the slight shrunken and shriveled look they had. Ugh. Her legs looked like they were fixin' to fall off at the knee.

The tech took one look at her horrified face, and snickered slightly as he went about cleaning up the plastery mess left by her casts. Lex fixed him with one baleful green eye, and started rooting around in her purse for her razor and shave gel. At the look she gave HIM, the tech immediately stopped snickering, and just busted out laughing. Dr. Cordell barely managed to keep his face straight as he reached out to examine Lex's left leg.

She jerked away, "Medical professionals aren't supposed to laugh their patients." With that, both the doctor and the tech dissolved into laughter.

"I get NO respect. While you're laughing at me, you can take me somewhere to shave and wash up, "

An hour later, she was once again fully dressed (She'd never been so thankful for clothes. The tech had helped her to a bathroom where she'd sat on the toliet and shaved from the sink, but holding the back of her flapping gown closed while he helped her down the hall had been a bitch.) and tottering around Cordell's office with a pair of canes to help her along.

"You need to be careful for the next few weeks. Your legs atrophied while in the casts, they aren't as strong as they used to be. We'll schedule some physical therapy for you.

And for Pete's sake, use your canes. Go slow, too. If you fall at this point, its very likely you'll re-break at least one of them."

"I can drive right?"

"Certainly, just don't over do it. Anything else, for ya Alexia?"

"Nah, I'm straight."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, she was behind the wheel of her metallic orange hummer, headed home. She WANTED to go shopping, but already she could feel fatigue in her legs, and decided she'd best do as the doctor ordered.

She was glad to have her car back. She missed it and the freedom it represented. While she'd been incapacitated, her Hummer had sat dutifully at a friends house, occasionally going camping with Billy, which in her opinion, was far better than letting it sit in her driveway for weeks with no one to drive it. Billy dropped it off for her today, leaving it at the doctor's office and taking a cab home, wisely realizing that an offer to drive Lex home would NOT have been well received.

The thrum of the Hummers engine was soothing as she drove home, and eventually her thoughts turned to the yellow Camaro she'd been two-timing her truck with. Now, THERE was a mystery wrapped in an enigma. He wasn't even really a Camaro. He was actually a sixteen foot tall, giant, alien robot that was pretending to be a Camaro. Excuse her, sixteen feet, two inches. She giggled when she remembered how Bumblebee had jealously pointed out those two inches when she asked, "What are you, 'bout 16 feet tall, thereabouts?"

He was completely amazing. That was another thing, as odd as it seemed for her to be thinking of a robot (even a super, giant, alien robot) in terms of gender, Bumblebee was definitely male. Intoxicatingly male. _Oooh, best not to start thinking like that_. Unfortunately, her inner warning came wayyyy too late. She'd been thinking about him 'like that' quite a bit lately, and she had the distinct impression that the feeling was mutual. Hadn't she felt the car shiver when she passed her hand over the hood in a friendly (or possibly feel-coping) greeting? Hadn't her touch been enough to make his engine scream until they were flying through deserted streets and down deserted highways, breaking traffic laws like nobody's business? Yeah, it had. Only problem was, even if he was as turned on by her as she was turned on by him, what the hell could they do about it? How could she possibly manage to have sex with a 16 foot (and two inches) robot? Sure, he could probably come up with some means of pleasuring her, but that wasn't cutting it in her book. If they were going to get something ON, she wanted to fuck until they BOTH blew some circuits.

Lex blew her bangs out of her face in an agitated fashion. She was frustrated in more ways than one. _Oh well_, she thought,_ it's probably for the best anyway. My luck, he'd be 16 feet tall and somehow STILL have a 3 inch penis. Assuming he has one at all._

Depressing.

Lex slowed, then turned into her driveway. She followed its curving progress to the back of her house, and sitting there, parked in front of her garage, was none other than the current topic of her thoughts.

* * *

She wasn't back by the time Bee parked in front of her garage. He knew she was going to have her casts removed, and was unconcerned. She was probably still visiting the doctor, and may even stop for some errands. She wouldn't be expecting him to be at her house this early. It was just barely noon, and normally, their time together was in the wee hours of the morning.

His holo-driver sat in the driver seat. He fiddled with the roses, trying to make them as pretty as possible. Cool, moist air blasted out of the vents, turning the inside of the Camaro into a cooler. It wouldn't do to have the roses wilt before he could give them to her.

After about an hour after Bee got to Lex's house an orange Hummer pulled up beside him, Lex sliding awkwardly out of its interior. Her desire to protect her newly healed legs made her awkward, but it was all to easy to imagine her, under normal circumstances, sliding into the large truck with ease, and settling comfortably into its wide leather seats.

That was _so_ not cool.

Rather than bother opening his own door, Bee just re-projected his holo-driver to the outside of the outside. From there, he started mutely at Lex, before jabbing his finger angrily in the direction of the Hummer.

"It's male!"

He said some more stuff, but for her part, Lex wasn't paying one lick of attention to anything he said. First, she'd been shocked to see someone inside the bright yellow Camaro. Then, if she hadn't known better, she could have sworn that someone just appeared outside the car, without ever having opened a door or anything. She'd just started telling herself she was being silly, thinking that this must be Sam, that Bee told her so much about, when the man spoke in BEE'S voice. That made her look at him, REALLY look at him, and the next thing she knew, she felt like the wolf in the old cartoons. The wolf that, when faced with a pretty woman, would let about 10 feet of tongue unroll from his mouth before his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, and popped out of their sockets.

This guy was _gorgeous_. About six feet tall, buff, but lean. A plain white t-shirt stretched over his chest. Long legs clad in well-worn blue jeans. Scuffed black work boots with silver hardware covered his feet. He wore a black leather jacket with a small bumblebee embroidered on the right side of his color. His hair was medium blonde, tousled, thick, and unruly. She wanted to dig her hands into it, tug on it. When she looked into his eyes, there was no mistaking who he was. She'd gotten to know those eyes quite well over the past month. Even as a human they were so blue they glowed, beautiful and sweet. Well, maybe sweet wasn't quite how they were looking now. Maybe now the most accurate word would be pissed.

Bee, if the human in front of her was indeed him, and she was sure it was, seemed to be waving in an agitated way at her truck. Lex decided she'd best stop drooling over him, and listen to what he was saying.

"What do you have to say about this?" He flapped his hand at her truck.

Utterly mystified, Lex said, "Um, well, it's paid for?"

"It's male!"

"It's not alive!"

"If it were alive, it'd be male!"

He had a point there. The Hummer (which incidentally had 'Hum This!" written across the top of its windshield in glittery, orange letters) was a masculine vehicle. She didn't want any girly car. Damned if someone was gonna catch her riding around in a little pink VW Beetle with a bud vase in it. No way.

Without thinking, she slapped his chest. Hard. "I need transportation you dolt! I'm not fixing to bear its children!"

Bee rubbed gently at his chest.

"You felt that?"

He nodded. "If I make my holo-driver solid, I've found its best to split some sensor arrays to him. If I get no sensory input from this form, I don't know how hard I'm gripping any given object. I might grip too hard and crush it, or not grip hard enough and drop it."

Lex reached out and poked his shoulder with two fingers. He felt so real. Even down to the grain in the leather. "How is this possible?" She poked him again, hard enough to make him sway slightly to his left.

"Did you ever watch Star Trek: The Next Generation?"

"You mean there are people that didn't?"

He grinned at her. He also flattened her still prodding hand against his shoulder, like swatting a fly, before bringing it to his lips for a brief kiss. He seemed to do it absently, like he didn't quite realize what he'd done.

"Well, this projection of myself works much TNG's explanation of holo-decks. Except I don't have anything like a replicator. Instead, I use nanotechnology and various sensor arrays to…"

"Bee, just leave it at Star Trek levels. That's something I can get."

"Ok." He watched her leaning heavily on her canes, and conducted a quick scan of her systems. She was tiring, and in a little pain. A frown crossed his face, and with no warning, he picked her up and settled her on his own hood. He grinned at her undignified squawk.

Lex stroked her hand against the cool metal of Bee's hood. She felt the car shiver slightly, as did the hologram standing beside her. "You felt that?"

He nodded.

He was standing close to her, leaning one hip against his metal body (weird, but true) looking at her with wide blue eyes. Still gently rubbing the hood with the knuckles of her right hand, she reached out with her left, and slid it gently into his hair. Her hand conformed to the curvature of his skull, gently massaging his scalp. "And you feel this?"

"Yes," he croaked.

His eyes were half closed. She tightened her hand in his hair, pulled him closer. It occurred to her that he'd probably never kissed a human girl before (and really the thought that perhaps he had, caused her to burn with jealousy), and when she pressed her lips to his, it was tentative and soft, letting him get used to the idea. It didn't take him long, and when she opened her mouth for him, his tongue dominated hers, he went beyond any normal sense of kissing. He _owned_ her mouth.

Bee moved in front of her, ruthlessly shoving her long skirt up around her hips before stepping in between her thighs. His hands on her hips scrunched her skirt even more, before lifting her up slightly and pulling her forward, closer to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and she could feel the ridge of his erection pressing against her demanding that they remove the final barriers of his jeans and her flimsy lace panties. She yanked his jacket off, pushing it off his shoulders before sliding her hands under his t-shirt and rubbing them up his back. Part of her wondered how this had all happened so fast, but when she slid her hands back down to grab his ass and pull him closer to her, the rest of her decided they weren't going fast enough.

He rocked his hips into her, and she vaguely wondered just what kind of websites he'd been surfing lately. He rocked into her a second time, and the pleasure was exquisite, driving all thoughts from her mind as her body strained closer to him, demanding she fill the horribly aching emptiness. He nipped gently at her lower lip, before moving along her jaw line, to gently trace her ear with his tongue. She called his name in a scream that came out as a whisper, and arched into him. Demanding, pleading, her need for him greater than anything she'd ever felt.

And then, he stopped.

He pulled completely away from her, and stood there, head down, gripping the sides of his hood, muscles strained.

Her voice sounded as breathless as she felt. "Bee?"

He looked up at her, the need on his face as clear as day. "We can't… not yet. I'm sorry, I didn't mean… I lost control."

It was impossible for her to mistake the look on his face. _You're mine_, it said, _and I need to claim you_. Well, Lex had no problem with this, but clearly some responsibility was keeping him from her. He moved slightly, and put her clothes right again, before bending down and picking up his discarded jacket. She could see him struggling to regain control, while she did the same. After a moment, she looked at him and said simply, "What's wrong Bee?"

He sighed. "When I saw you on the news after I hit you, I wanted to go to you… to tell you that I hadn't meant to cause you harm. To tell you I was sorry. Our leader, Optimus Prime, told me no. Humans, with the exception of a few that fought with us at Mission City, aren't supposed to know about us."

Understanding dawned on her. "So, he doesn't know about me. About any of this."

Looking miserable, Bee shook his head. "No. But, he'd forbidden contact with you, he didn't say I couldn't just.. Look in on you, make sure you were ok. And that's what I did. Except… except, I couldn't stop there. I kept coming back, and when you saw me…"

Lex nodded to show her understanding, and he continued, "And now, it has gotten to the point where I have to tell him. " He smiled a wry smile, "Confession is good for the soul."

"What's Optimus likely to do to you Bee?"

"I don't know. I'm likely to spend some time in the brig for this. But Lex, if he tells me I can no longer see you- I can't disobey a direct order. He's my superior officer, my leader, like a father to me."

Yet again, his eyes pleaded for understanding, and once again, she gave it to him. Her throat tightened with unshed tears at the thought of never seeing him again, but she put that aside. There was no way to stop what would happen, best to not worry about it.

Lex kissed his neck gently before sliding off his hood and picking up her canes. Without turning around, she headed to the house. "Stay put."

Puzzled, Bee stayed where he was, leaning against the hood. Ten minutes later, she returned. Lex had freshened up, and changed into more comfortable clothes. She hobbled carefully to the passenger side, and opened the door.

"If there's music to be faced, Bee, we'll do it together."

He stood there smiling, his Spark felt like it was swelling 10 times its size. And for that moment, it didn't matter that he was the youngest and smallest Autobot. At that moment, he felt bigger and taller than even Megatron.

Then Lex ruined it by saying, "Would ya just get in the damn car?" which was quickly followed by, "Aww, did you get me flowers?"


	5. Of Monsters and Spies

* * *

A/N: Carpal Tunnel, here I come! This story really won't let me be, though, I guess its best to get as much done as I can before my vacation ends. Also, I'm trying out OpenOffice, and so far, I give it four stars.

Once again, the Forever Knight (simply put..vampires) crossover is becoming active. You meet my fave character from there, Lucien LaCroix, in the first section of this chapter. It's impossible not to like him... he's soooo deliciously evil!. I'm hoping that I pulled this off in a way that isn't confusing for non-Forever Knight fans...

Last but not least, thanks again for the awesome feedback I've gotten on this story. Enjoy )

Chapter 5

Lucien LaCroix stared out at the darkened city of Toronto, annoyed. Actually, he was far, far beyond annoyed. What he WAS exactly, he wasn't sure. Two thousand years wandering this planet had not given him sufficient vocabulary to express just how far beyond annoyed he really was.

He'd been a respected General in the Roman army, he watched as Pompeii was covered beneath tons of rock and ash, he'd seen every war in the past 2000 years, and often participated (though, usually on the side most people would consider, shall we say... evil?) and if he hadn't been a direct participant, well he was still there, feeding on the wounded, or perhaps, creating new wounded of his own. He'd rubbed elbows with the famous and infamous over the past two millennia, LaCroix had done all of those things, and more, so much more, and yet the largest, and most current, thorn in his side was nothing more than his pain-in-the-ass mortal daughter.

LaCroix had been out hunting one night, when he'd heard the screaming of a young child. He stopped to investigate, and had found Lex alone in her crib, starving and crying. Evidently her mother overdosed, leaving the child all alone. He'd planned on eating it. Really. But in the end, he'd been unable. And after Jeanette saw it, there was no turning back. Unfortunately, vampirism didn't always kill the maternal instinct.

It would have taken a grizzly bear with a crow bar and an engineering degree to pull it out of him, but after only a few months, he was entranced. Lex was a notoriously happy baby, and LaCroix was constantly amazed that something so helpless could grin at him so fearlessly while grown men and women had been known to run, fleeing, from little more than a hard glance.

She'd won him like a goldfish at the fair, and though Jeanette would say nothing, she knew it, and gradually, he, Lucien had taken over most of her care. Hell, he still had pictures she colored in the first grade tucked carefully away in his closet. When she got older, she requested to take the last name of his son, Nicholas (I love you Dad, she'd said, but no one is EVER going to manage to correctly pronounce the name LaCroix.) And despite his dark and brooding, and let's face it, EVIL nature, his Alexia came out the exact opposite of her father. She was bright and cheerful, balm for the soul. When, that is, she wasn't being an ass.

Ever the optimist, Lex looked forward to each new year. Considered each one to be a new set of opportunities and experiences. LaCroix on the other hand, looked at each passing year, hell each passing day, as getting closer to her inevitable death.

She said he was a killjoy. He said he was a REALIST. She said maybe so, but you're still depressing.

He closed his blue eyes, and ran his hand over his short, spiky brown hair. He needed to open his club. Really he did. But he wasn't finished brooding.

All parents knew their children would die someday (and hopefully AFTER the parents), but unlike most parents, LaCroix could offer his child immortality, if she would only accept. So far, she hadn't. She said she wanted to wait until she was older, but before she turned ugly to make a decision. That would have been fine, except LaCroix had the sneaking (and horrifying) suspicion that she would never consent to being brought across.

And he would watch her die.

His prophecy came close to reality, only much sooner than he'd expected. Damned if she hadn't gotten herself run over by a car. Broke both legs. Nick hadn't been lying when he told Lex that neither he nor LaCroix had made the trip down there. They'd stayed put in Toronto. However, LaCroix's immense age and propensity for massive acts of evil had not left him unknown in the vampire community. And he had LONG arms. He merely had someone else check in on her, and report back to him and Nicholas.

All is fair in love and war. Especially, if said fairness were geared towards HIS side.

He knew, of course, why she hadn't wanted them (most especially LaCroix) to see her in a wheelchair. It would have sparked their old argument, once more. He'd seriously considered just saying 'Damn the torpedoes!' and making her immortal whether she liked it or not, but in the end, had been unable to do so. He was afraid if he were to do something like that, betray her trust in such a permanent way, that she would never forgive him. Maybe cut him out of her life.

That wasn't something he could live with.

So for now, he'd wait. He'd have his contact watch. And report. And may God have mercy on the poor bastard that harms his wayward chick. Because he won't.

* * *

LaCroix's contact, Vachon, spent the day under Lex's porch. Not at all dignified, but he'd lost track of time the night before (there had been some pretty...interesting on-goings at Lex's house here lately) and the next thing he'd known, the sun was rising. Thankfully, he wasn't bound by the dumbass rules most authors seemed to come up with. There was no debilitating lethargy during the day time, he just couldn't go out into the light, lest he.. well.. implode.

So, he'd stayed under the porch. And boy, hadn't he gotten an eyeful. Then after he closed his eyes, an earful, because he could still HEAR what was going on, even if he couldn't see it. When he talked to LaCroix, he would tell him about Lex having her casts removed. He would NOT tell him about Lex's encounter with the robot's holothingy. For all he knew, LaCroix wanted some grandchildren, and he, Vachon, was NOT going to be the one to tell him that wasn't likely to be happening anytime soon. No sir-ee-bob. LaCroix might regret it if he screwed around and killed the messenger, but then again, he might not give a shit either way. Best not to find out.

In truth, there was plenty he hadn't told LaCroix lately. PLENTY! Take for instance, the 16 foot tall yellow robot. He hadn't mentioned that shit. Vachon opined that 16 foot tall yellow robots were some shit you had to see for yourself to believe, and if he told LaCroix, well LaCroix would most likely just think he'd been snacking on random crackheads again. And he wasn't! At least not too much, anyway.

Vachon was careful around the robot (Lex called him Bee). Very careful. He hadn't seen much over the past four hundred years that could harm a vampire, but he was quite sure that thing could, and probably easily. He got the feeling it wasn't a vicious...person (?), but Vachon was sure that if it perceived anything that could possibly be considered a threat to Lex, it would kill first and ask questions about it later. At least it didn't seem to be able to detect him on its sensors. Most likely, they were attuned mostly to other robots of its kind, humans, and possibly to a lesser degree animals and birds. Vampire physiology was a whole different book.

Vachon fervently wished he'd watched Star Trek or something. Perhaps he'd have a better grasp of what was going on. Kind of like how Lex caught on to the movie 'The Matrix' quickly because she'd read 'The Tommyknockers'.

Vachon missed Lex. He'd always liked the kid, but he didn't dare show himself to her because there was no way she'd believe he just happened to be vacationing in the United States (he was), in her particular piece of the country (ya, okay, he'd been sent here, specifically), and all around the time she'd managed to get run over. She would know exactly why he was here. And Vachon really didn't want that. He was pretty sure that, not only would she nag, she would FOLLOW HIM AROUND nagging the entire time, and if he tried to escape by flying away, she'd just save it ALL up for later.

Lex and Bee left a few hours earlier. It was boring under the porch. Lost in his own thoughts Vachon started to doze, only to be awakened by the sound of a car coming up the driveway. He expected to see a yellow Camaro following the drive way to the back yard where Lex's garage was. He was wrong.

It was a police cruiser, one of the new Mustangs. There was no driver. He frowned. Lex didn't know this one, he was sure of it. He studied the car closely, and what he saw written on the side chilled him. _To Enslave and Punish..._ That wasn't good. The driver's door opened, and out slid a small, skeletal robot with blue eyes. It's body seemed to be made up entirely of spikes. Ouch. Vachon was sure it was the same type of robot as the yellow one, just, well, much smaller. It seemed to vibrate with barely controlled energy, like maybe it was on the ultimate sugar rush. He watched as it scuttled away from the cruiser, and started edging its way along the lattice work skirting around the porch.

The Mustang left. Vachon heard it leave the driveway and take to the road, accelerating quickly. The small silver bot was still slinking around to his left though, and Vachon was pretty damn sure THAT little sumbitch was up to no good. He heard it rustle in the bushes right in front of him. Suddenly, Vachon's arm slammed through the wooden porch skirt. He grabbed the skeletal robot and hauled it under the porch, creating a rather large hole in the process.

* * *

Frenzy was horrified when something grabbed him and yanked him through the flimsy wooden decoration. He hadn't been sleeping on the job, he'd taken extensive scans, and there had been no signs of anything living, human or robot, and now, here he was, being held like a bug by a mere HUMAN. For one brief second, he was almost afraid. It was as though the human's grip wasn't that of an organic, but more that of a mech, strong and steely.

As quickly as the fear surfaced, it disappeared. Humans only posed a threat when armed, and then really only when there were more than one. But, this was just one human, and there were no weapons in sight. Casually, Frenzy reached out with one claw, slicing the human's face, taking pleasure in watching it leak fluids through its pitifully weak skin.

But then something happened. Something that most certainly did NOT compute. The human's wound healed. Right there, before Frenzy's eyes. Ya didn't have to be a human expert to know that was NOT supposed to happen. Slightly worried now, Frenzy shot the strange human with the long dark hair, tiny bullets perforating it's skin and organs. The human didn't even flinch. Instead, it growled. And it began pulling Frenzy apart. Not just his limbs. This human was literally pulling him apart, one tiny piece at a time. Pain roiled through Frenzy as the human decimated his joints. Frenzy gibbered frantically as he watched the human chuck pieces of him into an ever growing pile of scrap metal.

Only one thought remained in his processors.

_Warn Barricade!!_

And somehow, in some sickening way, the human seemed to intuit what was going on in his head. Not the idea exactly, just the shape of it, and he clearly had no intention of letting Frenzy call for help.

Frenzy felt his head not only being pulled off, but he felt it being pulled _apart_. Pain was no longer an outside visitor. Pain had made itself quite at him in Frenzy, it filled his body like fire. He could feel damaged chips, components, and processors, he could, until the human pulled out his olfactory processors, smell his own wires burning.

Frenzy ceased to feel anything. His optics dimmed, flickered, and went out.

Vachon chucked the last piece of metal to the side. He laid back down and waited for sunset.

* * *

Bee took her to see Sam, first. No matter what happened, he wanted Sam to get the chance to know her, to meet her, and to see why he cared about her as much as he did.

If he didn't know any better, he'd say Sam was waiting on him. The boy came tearing out of the house as soon as they pulled in the driveway. He came to a skidding halt, however, when he saw Lex emerge from the car.

"Um, hi."

"Hi, you must be Sam?"

"Yeah."

She gave him a brilliant grin that went a long way towards making him more comfortable. Her teeth were blindingly white. "I've heard a lot about you."

Sam grinned back, "Hopefully its all been good."

"Of course. Um, can I use the restroom?"

"Oh ya, just go in, and it's straight down the hall to the right."

Sam settled himself on Bee's hood. He watched Lex disappear into the house. Sam grinned at Bee, "How'd a bucket of bolts like you manage to rate a girl like that?"

Bee's holographic form materialized beside Sam before giving him a playful punch on the shoulder. "Shut your hole." But he was grinning when he said it.

Sam continued, "Seriously dude, good job. I mean that."

* * *

Lex noticed that both of the boys seemed to have a foolish grin on their faces when she came back outside. She decided she probably didn't want to know what they'd been discussing in her absence. She also decided to ignore the near electric jolt she felt when Bee held his arms open to her. She slipped into them comfortably, and she and Sam started chatting about various shared interests. Turns out they had quite a lot in common. Bee kept mostly silent, allowing them to get to know each other.

Everything was going great until Sam, being a typical guy, asked, "So, what kind of car do you drive?"

"Um, a Hummer."

"Oh? H2 or H3?"

"No, I drive a REAL Hummer."

"Sweet! Can it really climb nearly," he saw the look Lex gave him, and did a complete about-face,"I mean, not that that's special or anything. It's.. i-it's really a... disadvantaged vehicle." By this time, Sam's gaze had switched from Lex's slight scowl, to Bee's face. Oh ya, definite thunderclouds THERE. More confused than ever, the boy tried really hard to look innocent and convincing at the same time.

Bee told them that he was going to take Lex's flowers and put them safely inside Sam's house before they went to meet Optimus. Somehow, he made it seem like a telling off. Sam's eyebrows went up a bit at the mention of Optimus, but as he didn't comment, Lex figured he must be aware of the situation. Clearly, he wasn't aware of the Hummer situation though, because without saying anything, he rolled his eyes down at the yellow Comaro, looked back up at Lex and shrugged. _What's his problem?_

Lex just waved her hand at him in a clear "I'll explain later" gesture.

Bee came out, looking oddly self-satisfied for someone who had only put away some flowers. Lex knew why, and it made her giggle. She'd decided on the way to Sam's that if that ride with Bee could potentially be her last ride alone with him, that she'd do well to make the best of it. Bee nearly ran off the road when she graced his leather clad seat with a gentle nip. She felt him shudder when she gently kissed the place she'd bitten. And a few minutes later, when Lex started slowly trailing one of the soft rose blooms over every inch of his interior that she could reach, Bee seemingly forgot how to shift gears, grinding them constantly.

Oh ya, he had reason to be smug about getting rid of the roses.

* * *

Bee drove to the foot of the overlook the Autobots had a habit of gathering on. He let his humans get out before transforming to his natural robotic state. He'd found it was generally easier to just walk up from the bottom of the hill, as opposed to working at getting traction in the long grass with his Camaro's wheels. Since, you know, he wasn't a Hummer. He was preparing to bend over and pick up Sam and Lex, when he felt Lex hop onto his right foot, and find a handhold within the workings of his legs.

Bee peered down at her, "What are you doing?"

Lex grinned up at him, "Hitch-hiking," she said simply.

Sam followed her lead, hopping easily onto Bee's left foot and finding his own handhold. "Why didn't I ever think of this?"

"Dude, you have to work to achieve this level of laziness."

Riding Bee's feet was FUN. It vaguely reminded Lex of when she used to stand on her Dad's feet to dance, that had been great, but THIS was on a WHOLE different scale. He lifted them several feet off the ground with each step, and the forward motion of his steps not only caused a nice breeze, but it created that ticklish sensation in the stomach that came from rides at the fair, or accelerating real fast in a car. That made her and Sam both giggle, which caused Bee to constantly stop and peer down at them, his doors settled on his back like wings.

The next time (the SIXTH time, he stopped, they still hadn't gotten to the top of the hill, and really, it wasn't THAT big of a hill) Bee stopped to peer at his two giggling humans, he fixed his blue optics on them in a very solemn fashion, before raising one finger to his speaker in a 'be quiet' gesture and saying, "Shhhhhhhhhh."

That REALLY cracked them up. They laughed until tears poured down their faces, though they did manage to straighten up and behave while Bumblebee sent a signal to Prime.

Signal sent, Bee felt Lex press her hot, damp face to his cool armor. She tipped her face toward his. "Can we hitch-hike some more."

If he'd had a mouth instead of a speaker, he would have been grinning. He made a move like he was going to run, and when he felt them both tighten their grips on his legs, he did. They made quite a spectacle: a sixteen foot tall, super, alien robot, running crazily through a field with his arms held out like airplane wings-while two humans hung on tight, and laughed like loons.

Later, Bee sat on the ground, his back against a large shade tree. Sam sat on the ground with his back propped against Bee's right leg, Lex sprawled on her stomach across his right foot. Bee reached down with one large metal finger and gently stroked her back, fans whirring with pleasure when she arched slightly into his finger. Sam got poked in the head for making comments about 'horny robots.'

"Optimus should be here soon." said Bee softly.

To her credit, Lex looked only minimally nervous at the though of meeting the leader of a race of giant robot aliens. Of course, Bee was monitoring her vital signs, and could see that she was extremely nervous, just not showing it much.

Lex asked if Optimus Prime had a bad temper. Snickering to himself, Bee didn't answer with words, instead he played a verse of song:

_The cops do the best they can,_

_They pull the ax out _yer_ face and say,_

"_Was it the Boogeyman??"_

Lex's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?" She looked at Sam, "Is he serious?"

"Nah," Sam replied, "Optimus is a good guy."

The sound of heavy footfalls, caught her attention, and as she slid off Bee's foot it only took her a second to start hoping that Sam's assessment was correct. Prime stood there in the receding light of day, his flamed armor gleaming.

He was enormous.

A/N: The song referenced is called "Boogie Woogie Wu" by ICP.


	6. All Yours

A/N: Thanks again to everyone for the reviews, and for all the favorites and alerts. It makes me happy that ya'll are enjoying it, because its pretty damn fun to write. Originally, I planned to have more stuff happen in this chapter, but cut it short when a good cut off place made itself available, because I didn't expect it to be as long as its turned out.

There's one scene in here that's supposed to be touching (I guess that's the word) and I'm hoping that it didn't turn out cheesy instead, on account of that would suck massive, flappy ass. I had a lot of trouble with that scene, I was managing to write like, a sentence an hour. I'd think about it, write for about 2 seconds and think some more. Anyone watching me would have that perhaps I'm not all that sharp. So anyway, let me know what ya'll think, and if there's some room for improvement, I'd honestly like to know.

Last thing, the latter part of this chapter had some inspiration from Atlantia's story, "Ignition" which, btw, is an excellent story. You should give it a read if you haven't, just be forewarned, it's unfinished, and that sucks cause its really good.

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease.

Doll

Chapter 6

(4 Months Later)

Lex was a natural born artist. Paint was her bread and butter, but it was in art school, while carefully laboring to hone her craft that she discovered not only a love of metal working, but a _knack_ for it.

Eventually her talent and skill in metal working began to rival her talent for painting. Seemingly, she didn't so much sculpt the metal, she commanded it. Likewise, she didn't paint, she just told the paints what part of the canvas belonged to what color. She was like an idiot savant that wasn't an idiot.

She thanked her trust fund for this. Not only had she been able to afford an excellent art school, she hadn't gotten bogged down in trying to survive like most starving artists. Most artists she knew were forced to waste their talents painting roses on china cups to put food on the table. Lex had no such problems. It didn't matter to her if her art was considered marketable. She painted and sculpted what she knew and felt, and damn anyone else's opinion.

Not that Lex had never held a regular job. Lucien LaCroix was a murderer, but he was NO rich-y snob. _It's ok to look down on mortals for being, well, mortal_, he'd told her, _but money doesn't make you better than anyone._ Lex agreed with him completely, money didn't make her better than anyone, but she had pointed out to him that she was, indeed, mortal herself. He'd waved her away, saying "_No, you're family._" She was well aware her circumstances when Lucien found her, half-starved and dirty, and knew that he'd likely saved not only her physical life, but her mental life as well. Because of that, Lex didn't take anything for granted: not her wealth, not her life, not anything.

Just to be sure, though, her father had suggested she take a public service job for at least a year. LaCroix's tone of voice informed her that his suggestion wasn't _really_ a suggestion. In fact, his tone suggested that his suggestion was more of an _order. _Lex got a job at a fast food place, and she believed LaCroix when he told her it would be a learning experience for her, but she was surprised by just HOW correct he was.

She liked her co-workers. She liked most of her customers, but... well, she got some real winners, too. One such happy-crappy asshole got more than he ordered when she hauled him over the counter by his shirt and asked would he like his balls in a sling to go with that? Very politely in little more than a whisper, he replied that fries would suit him just fine, please, ma'am.

After that, the management thought it might be best to put her in Drive-Thru. There, she was surprised to find out just how many people, usually women, would take their money from her as though afraid her minimum wage cooties would rub off on them. And they weren't even rich! They were just like, middle class.

All of that had been before art school and Tranquility, and if nothing else, she'd done well with what she'd been blessed with. She was an amazing artist, and had no problems admitting that. Lex had her critics of course, but well, most of them could fuck themselves in her opinion.

She loved her work and her living room was a testament to that.. Every inch of the 14 foot tall walls were covered in a meticulous mosaic of copper, sliver, gold, and tin, all with varying degrees of polish and texture. It took her years to finish it, and when she did she hired an interior decorator to finish the room AROUND the walls. And if her work was amazing before Yoshi stepped in, it was awe inspiring AFTER he left.

Huge fluffy couches and love seats in neutral off-whites mixed with utilitarian quaker style wooden chairs and tables. The only color came from the few throw rugs tossed around on the darkly polished hardwood floors. The lighting was the best, by far. Yoshi used cleverly hidden lighting that accentuated her walls. Her mosaic seemed to glow, softly radiant, as if it had its own light source, as opposed to relying on outside sources. Bee was fascinated with that room the moment he first saw it, carefully running his fingers over the artfully worked metal.

The room was her pride and joy, the flagship for transformation that would one day turn the inside of her home into a work of art.

She wasn't in her living room _now_, however. Now she was in her basement workshop, putting together her most current (and less artsy) project. She gently sucked the tips of her fingers. They felt like raw hamburger. The metal she was currently working with was small yet jagged.

She remembered finding it the night they'd met Optimus Prime. Meeting Prime had been a rather life changing experience. And it wasn't just him, they ALL came to the lookout, and it had been pretty amazing. It would have been even more amazing if she'd been able to restrain her traitorous mouth, but no such luck. Prime knelt, trying to get himself to her level and she'd looked right into his baby blues and said, "Hey, sup Tiny?"

She looked over to her side to see both Sam and Bee clutching their heads. A collective groan came from the rest of the Autobots with the exception of the one that had been a silver Solstice. _He_ seemed to think it was hilarious, and was giggling madly. Prime seemed to take it in stride, though, and lowered his hand for her to step on. Without warning, he stood up, raising her over twenty feet into the air. Suddenly, VERY suddenly.

Lex clung to Prime's thumb and tried to convince her stomach to quit visiting her feet. Then she realized she was _clinging to Tiny's thumb_. Actually, if she were going to be honest, it would be best to say that she was bear hugging his thumb. She stepped away and tried to regain her exterior cool.

"Sorry, I was all molesting your thumb, there."

"Lex," (Lex decided she didn't want to know what kind of Autobot juju allowed him to know her name), "I will not harm you."

Trying hard not to look down, she replied, "Oh! No, I'm not afraid of you, it's just that, well, I like heights about as much as I like clowns and doctors with saws that aren't really doctors."

Optimus Prime looked a little confused. Clearly, he decided it best not to get into all that, too, because he said, "You have kept our secret."

It wasn't a question, but she nodded at him anyway.

"And you care about Bumblebee?"

She looked directly at Prime, and without hesitation simply said, "I love him." After which, she mentally prayed like hell that Bee not only returned her feelings, but was also on a higher plane than most human males and wouldn't turn tail and run at the word 'love.' A gentle finger trailed along her side, telling her she was worrying needlessly. Bee tried to tell her that himself, but his vocal processors failed him, and she patted his finger telling him without words that he didn't need to say anything.

Prime watched it play out with interest, and he stared at Lex as though examining her very molecules (hell, maybe he was) until he nodded to himself, seemingly satisfied. He gently put her back on the ground, and motioned for Bee to come with him. "It has been a pleasure meeting you, but I must speak with Bumblebee alone now." He glanced at the other Autobots, who were carefully pretending that they hadn't been watching everything like a bunch of nosy neighbors. "Perhaps you should get to know them."

She had. And they were a riot. She'd really hit it off with Ratchet. They'd talked for hours that night, so involved in the conversation that Bee finally gave up and just picked her up when it was time to go. When Lex yelped in surprise, Sam said apologetically, "Sorry, Lex, I have school tomorrow."

Ratchet took her from Bee. "Slagger, show your manners!"

Lex thought that neither of them could talk about manners. She was being passed back and forth like a can of beer.

"I'LL take the girl home...that is, if she'd like to finish our conversation."

Hands pinned to her sides, still in the midst of Ratchet's can 'o beer grip, she could only kiss the tip of the finger that Bee rubbed against her face before he left. Lex craned her neck to look at Ratchet.

"Kindly drink me, or put me down."

* * *

There had been many changes to Lex's life in the past few months. For one, her trusty orange Hummer was no longer with her. Another driver's brakes failed, and while neither person was hurt, the Hummer was totaled.

Bee and Ratchet had both come when she called for a ride, and when they'd seen her standing in the 'lost cause' lot her truck was towed to, crying her eyes out, both holos, followed closely by Sam, had come at a run, thinking she was injured.

Bee seemed to take her obvious grief over the loss of her vehicle as proof she was up to something with it.

Sam seemed to understand her pain. He was examining it with something akin to sorrow. He rubbed his hand over a patch of white showing against the orange.

"Was it a white car that hit you?"

Lex gently patted the spot Sam was looking at. "No, it used to be white. I guess the crashed rubbed off the paint and the primer. When my Dad bought it, they didn't have orange as a color option, and I had it repainted for safety."

All three of them looked confused.

"I live urban, and play wild. I got it when I still lived in Canada, and the Canadian wilderness is dangerous. Orange is easier to spot from the air than white, especially if there's snow on the ground. I like going where most people don't or can't go, and it was designed to handle nearly any terrain, I just needed it to be more visible."

Lex cried harder, "I have so many good memories in that car..."

All three of them, one human and both Bee's and Ratchet's holo's began patting her back, her arm, whatever they could reach, trying to make her feel better.

"... like, there was that I went camping in the Rockies..."

Still they tried to give her comfort.

"... or that time we all went mud riding and Bill fell out of the window because he was being a crackhead..."

Now they were trying to keep a straight face.

"... or that time I ran over that dudes car..."

All three of them froze. They looked thunderstruck.

"What?"

Sam was the first to regain his voice. "You ran over someone's car??"

"... Yeah, but he was a total dillweed."

"You didn't get arrested?"

"Nah, Dad... persuaded him not to press charges."

Actually, her Dad hypnotized him into forgetting exactly WHAT happened to his car in the first place. Typically, Lex felt bad whenever LaCroix had to bail her out of trouble in that fashion, it made her feel like she was taking advantage. This time, there was NO remorse.

Before Lex left Toronto, she'd always taken her truck to the dealership for repairs at night. She'd park it, drop her spare keys (marked with her name and address, make, model, and plate number) into the lock box beside the door, and get a ride home with LaCroix.

On the Night of the Dillweed, Lex had pulled her bright orange Hummer into a parking spot next to a little red convertible that had been backed into the exact center of two parking places. She began grabbing the various items rattling around in her center console and jamming them in her purse (Lex believed that the 'Not responsible for lost or stolen personal property' sign was like giving people permission to steal whatever wasn't nailed down). She saw a couple of middle-aged men walking up to the sports car, but paid them no mind. She knew a lot of people preferred shopping for cars when the dealership was closed- less hassle.

Lex would have continued paying them no mind, if it hadn't been for the man standing on the driver's side. In a loud, carrying, voice he said, "Oh, check this chick out in her suburban assault vehicle. She thinks she's going to fight a war on the next block."

Lex interrupted their boisterous laughter, "Check out this fat, pot-bellied asshole. He thinks he can get his sexy back by driving a convertible he can barely squeeze into." She glanced down at the car's interior. "AND its an _automatic._ Loser."

That pissed him off _good_.

"Dumb fucking quiff!"

It wasn't so much the insult that set her off. Lex didn't like the word quiff, but she didn't hate it enough to destroy someone's car over it, either. Later she decided it was a combination of little things that made her snap on that fat dumbshit. She was tired, she was hungry, she was already cranky because her latest 'camping' trip had cost her a muffler, and then this guy turns up.

Lex backed quickly out of her spot, and turned her Hummer so it was nose to nose with the convertible, whipping the large truck around as easily as she would a little VW Beetle. His front bumper was about half as tall as her front tires.

He never saw it coming. Sane people just didn't run over other people's vehicles. End of story. Except it wasn't. At first the pressure of the Hummer on the little convertibles front bumper served only to shove it backwards, emergency brake protesting, until it beached against the concrete parking-spot marker behind it. Lex's passenger side front tire spun for only a few minutes before the heavy tread found purchase. The Hummer was much wider than the sports car, and as a result, only two of its tires actually ran over the smaller car, the driver's side tires were firmly on the ground. Safe-T glass shattered and crumbled to the pavement, and the tortured squeal of collapsing metal mixed with the muffler-less roar of the massive truck in a symphony of pure POS-convertible destruction.

It was exhilarating.

Dillweed Man and his friend stood there, completely transfixed. It was like they were seeing what was happening, but the information wasn't _quite_ connecting with their pea-brains. That was, at least, until the crazy bitch behind the wheel of that beast of of a vehicle, backed up and ran over his shit AGAIN.

As always, Dad had impeccable timing. He subdued both men before they had a chance to take even a step toward her vehicle. He was a bit over-protective, and the fact that she was dooming this guy's brand new car to the scrap heap made no difference to him. He probably considered chowing down on them both, but didn't, for Lex's sake. Instead, he hypnotized them into forgetting, so that by the time they left-- after LaCroix had taken a moment to angrily hiss, "Next time you find it necessary to run over someone's car, make sure they're IN it first!"-- the two men were standing there, completely bewildered, trying to figure out what in fucknation happened their transportation.

Lex seemed slightly cheered after telling them the Tale of the Car-less Dillweed. A carefully edited tale. LaCroix's secrets were his own, and she would no more betray him than she would the Autobot's.

Sam had laughed helplessly.

Bee just gaped at her. She trailed a finger along his chin, encouraging him to close his mouth, which he did with a slight snap. Lex grinned up at him, "I can be a little...homicidal... with sports cars, Honey."

Bee closed his eyes, and rubbed his face in a tired sort of way. Lex seemed to have that effect on him fairly often.

Ratchet however, looked merely thoughtful. "If you would rather not see your vehicle go to a junkyard... I believe I could put it to good use. I could use the metal to make replacement armor when necessary."

And so it was decided.

Ratchet also decided something else for her: She would NOT being buying another car under his watch. When she pointed out that she could hardly drive an emergency vehicle everywhere she decided to go, _he _pointed out a bright yellow, late model Hummer parked behind Bee's Camaro alt-form.

"You've got to be kidding."

He wasn't. Surprisingly enough, Bee seemed to think this was an excellent idea, and enthusiastically nodded his approval.

Now it was Lex's turn to gape stupidly. "You didn't like THAT Hummer because you thought it MIGHT be male. You KNOW _he's_ a guy."

"I trust him," Bee replied simply.

* * *

Driving a car that was actually alive took some getting used to. It seemed rude to just climb in and start driving, but Ratchet seemed content to let her do just that. He spoiled her as well. As soon as she climbed in, he would crank himself up, and adjust the seats and mirrors for her. He buckled her seatbelt. He kept the interior the perfect temperature, and when she went grocery shopping, he even met her at the supermarket door.

There were compromises to be made. While shopping in the mall once, she'd hopefully shown Ratchet's holo-form a fuzzy, pink steering wheel cover, to which, he'd folded his arms and said, "Only if you want to walk home." Dejectedly, she put it back on the shelf. Also, he flat refused to put "Hum This One, Too" across his windshield, and likewise rejected, "I make my own roads, bitch."

Still though, she enjoyed having him with her, and despaired at the idea of having to buy a regular car. Lex had just gotten plain spoiled. She mentioned that to Ratchet once, and was totally amazed when he replied, "Why would you ever need to buy a car? I can transform into any model you desire."

She hadn't known how to respond. Never once did she ever think he would stay with her for the rest of her life, but it would seem, that was his intention. Lex was glad for it. Ratchet was quickly becoming her closest companion and confidant. He went off on his own, of course, and did whatever it was he wanted to do, but he was always there for her when needed.

In return, Lex doted on him. There was nothing sexual about it, quite the contrary, she viewed it as 'taking care of him' in much the same way she'd taken care of LaCroix when she was still living at home. Except, instead of shopping for clothes, and shoes, and always leaving out something for her father to wear, she was now buying brushes and sponges and using them. At first, it was just a matter of keeping him clean. Lex had always taken pride in her vehicles, and kept them meticulously clean. She saw no reason why Ratchet shouldn't get the same treatment, even though she knew full well he was capable of cleaning himself.

The first time she washed him... that had been, interesting to say the least. He hadn't quite known what to expect when she'd come outside in her green two-piece bathing suit, toting a bucket of sudsy water. She picked up the hose, tested the tepid water, and proceeded to wet him down, to which he immediately responded by shaking off like a giant, yellow dog, his entire body shaking on his shocks. Lex was soaked. Dripping.

"Was that really necessary?" she said, wiping some of the streaming water off of her face with the back of her hand.

"What are you doing?" She wasn't sure _where_ Ratchet's voice came from exactly, it didn't come from the speakers, it just seemed to BE there, but wherever it came from, it was definitely indignant.

"I,' said Lex, "am going to wash you."

"If you don't feel I'm clean enough, I'm perfectly capable of--"

"I know perfectly well what you're capable of." Which was a complete and total lie, since she had no idea what any of them were capable of doing, not really. "But you'll like this, I think, so shut yer face."

"In this form, I have no face."

"Asshole."

He'd submitted to her washing, even though he was initially dubious. It didn't take him long to warm up to it. If he'd had muscles, they would have been flexing under his smooth metal skin. When she started soaping his taillights, she discovered he was ticklish.

"Your _ass_ is ticklish??" She'd rolled, howling on the ground behind him, unable to stop laughing. Ratchet was less than amused. It wouldn't do for the others to find out about this, as he felt his various threats to leave them one legged or to weld their feet to their heads would be less effective. Not to mention, his ticklish ass just didn't fit into his gruff persona.

"I'll run you over if you tell anyone."

Lex swore a solemn oath of secrecy. Then laughed at him some more. Despite that, he'd enjoyed himself thoroughly, and when Lex took him to AutoZone the next day, and showed him to the car maintenance section, he'd been like a kid in the candy store, poring over the various soaps, tire shines, waxes, leather wipes, brushes and clothes, before finally coming up the to register with an armload of items that Lex was happy to buy for him.

She watched him shop, happy that he was happy, but saddened, too. She understood that the large mech wasn't made happy by the washes themselves, but by the affection that motivated her. He'd lived for God only knew how many thousands of years, and spent most of that time at war. Lex had no way of knowing how their lives had been, but she suspected life had been hard on all of them, maybe more so for Ratchet than the others. He was their medic, he took care of them. But, who took care of the medic? Lex suspected no one had, for a very, very long time. As a result, he soaked up the simple affection she lavished on him like a sponge, even though he liked to grumble about how she was going to ruin his reputation.

* * *

Lex raised her hands over her head and stretched. She was tired, and she'd lost track of time. Ratchet wasn't home at the moment, in fact, he was purposely not here, taking Sam and his friends out for the day, so that Bee would be free to be with her. Alone. For a long time.

She sighed, and got up. Everything was going so well, what with having Ratchet around and all, but Bee was another can of worms entirely. She knew exactly how he felt about her, hell, everyone did, he didn't exactly hide it. But physically, well physically he'd went from red hot to refrigerated. She figured it had something to do with his talk with Prime. He never told her what was said, but it was the most logical explanation.

It annoyed her that he wouldn't discuss it with her. Especially, since, if she wanted to be honest with herself, she wanted him. Lex had always been a physical sort of person anyway, touchy-feely with those she cared about and that aside- he brought out her inner slut whether she liked it or not. The situation probably wouldn't have been as frustrating as it was, except for, she knew full well he felt the same way she did, he just found it necessary to hold back. Lex also noticed that he didn't use his holo-form around her too much. Like maybe he was trying to keep temptation to a minimum. Didn't work. All of his forms were sexy to her: holo, car, and robot. In fact, the thought of the sixteen foot tall mech cupping her in his hands and having his way with her was enough to make her blood boil.

She'd been waging war on him. She'd been teasing him mercilessly every time she saw him. That wasn't playing fair, and Lex knew it, but as far as she was concerned, well, neither was Bee, and he started it. Lex would finish it. So she had started. When they went for one of their aimless drives, Lex would drive him harder than she usually did, caressing his gear shift and steering wheel much more than necessary for ordinary driving. They'd return to her house, both nearly shivering with need, but still he wouldn't give.

The closest she'd come to getting a real reaction out of him had been three nights ago. She'd been busily painting the master bathroom, clinging to the top step of her ladder with her head craned back, trying to get the primer she was using on the ceiling even. She'd been at it forever, and she was tired, but she just had to get this last bit done, and then she could start her sketching tomorrow.

That was when she saw the bright blue optics peeping in at her through the skylight over the tub. She gave him the '1 minute' gesture, and blew him a kiss.

Actually, it took almost twenty minutes for her to get outside. She finished the ceiling quickly, closed up her primer, cleaned her brushes, and then took a much needed shower herself. When Lex finally dragged herself outside, she saw Bee standing on the lawn beside her pool, looking up at the sky lost in his own thoughts.

He was adorable.

But, she was too tired to torture either him or herself, so she just walked over to him, and fell over backwards with a slight 'Ooof'. The ground caught her. And the grass was soft. Lex yawned, stretched hard and just laid there. Felt good, too.

The warmth made her open her eyes. It was delicious, but all wrong, it was rather cool outside. Bee was hovering over her, about 2 inches away from her skin. How could someone so big AND made of metal move so quietly? No fair.

Bee looked so worried, Lex had to chuckle a bit. She put her hands on either side of his face. "I'm fine, just tired." She leaned forward, gently kissing his speaker before resting her face against his. That their current position was blatantly sexual had not been lost on her. He was on his knees, his hands planted on either side of her head. Evidently, it wasn't lost on him, either.

One gentle metallic finger pressed her down onto the grass. Bee used his left hand to carefully pull her arms over her head, before pinning both wrists to the ground with his forefinger. She looked at him closely and what she saw made her more than a little afraid. He was still being gentle with her, so far, anyway, but his optics were glowing far brighter than they normally did, and his usual graceful movements were jerky, like he was forcing himself to go slow and be careful. There was more of the soldier about him than usual. Lex thought that perhaps her endless teasing finally found his breaking point (and on a night she wasn't even trying, figures).

Hands still trapped, he stroked her body with one of his fingers, from her head to her toes. Still afraid, but more aroused than anything, Lex arched into his caresses. She wondered if he could take her while in this form. More importantly, she wondered if she could take _him_, because she was pretty sure he was going to try it.

What's more, she _wanted_ him to. Fuck fear.

Bumblebee leaned over her once again, pressing his speaker against her gently and began cycling through sound frequencies that were either too low or too high for the human ear to hear. The effect was like a... sonic massage. An all-over sonic massage. And there was something else there too, a sort of _pulsing_ something she couldn't see or hear, something, rather that was sensed, just beyond the dim reaches of her consciousness. Something beautiful. Something she needed. Something that was _calling_ to her.

When she came, it was fast and intense; it left her reeling, but it was not satisfying. It drove her to greater heights of excitement, and dimly she thought: _Jesus, and here I haven't even taken my clothes off yet._

She wanted HIM to feel it.

She wriggled, trying to get her hands free, and Bee, afraid he was hurting her, let her go. Lex got unsteadily to her feet, and went to him, where he sat on his knees, though straight now, no longer hovering over her. She reached out with both hands, and trailed her fingers delicately over the large metal supports that made up his thighs. Her hands slipped in between his yellow armor, and carefully toyed with the inner workings the yellow plates protected.

Bee's entire body shuddered, and he planted his hands in the soft grass in front of him, leaning on them. Touching him was electric. It seemed all she had to do was put her hands somewhere on him, and pleasure bolted from his skin to hers. Judging from his reactions, he could feel it, too. It was amazing and scary at the same time, because she could sense that pulse again, and she knew it was coming from him, but it was coming from her at the same time, and that made no sense, but there it was, and she didn't need a neon sign with a message written in 5 foot tall letters to know that something was up, that this was something more than just dabbling in robo-sex. And she didn't care. It was him, or related to him in someway, and she loved every piece of him, wanted all of him, no matter how, or what, or when, and that pulsing, that pulsing that was so beautiful, but not seen, felt her acceptance, and became stronger, more insistent, like that was all it had been waiting for, and it became faster, more frenzied, and Lex felt herself reaching for it, not with her hands, nothing so simple as that. It felt like every fiber of her being, every cell was calling out in need, and she heard Bumblebee match that call with a low inhuman cry full of raw yearning. She took her hands off his legs, and reached up, stroking the chest above her, trying to assuage his pain, when she felt the plates there slide out of the way, exposing his Spark.

There were no words to describe the beauty Bee's spark held for her. Unbidden, Lucien's face surfaced in her mind, and she saw him asking her why she kept shunning his gift, why she shunned the immortality he could offer her, and the answer she gave him: _Because I like to eat. And, I want to walk in the light for awhile longer, Daddy._ She thought she'd meant sunlight, but now she wondered. Maybe somewhere in her soul she'd known better, even then, long before meeting Bumblebee. Maybe her soul had been waiting for this light. _His _light. It glowed with the purest light she'd ever seen, not solid, but pulsating, nearly beating, and in time to the pulse she'd been feeling. It was, her-

(_mate, you're my mate)_

The thought seemed to come from outside her brain, and for one moment she thought she must be hearing what Bee was thinking, but deemed it an impossibility. The Spark was her Bee's soul, and she wanted to cup it in her hands, to feel its warmth, to

(_mate, _my _mate I need you please)_

be close to him. She reached for it, stretching her fingertips towards his soul, and the first of the pain found her, low and sneaking, hiding in the pleasure washing over her, but she ignored it, and kept reaching, so carefully so slowly, unable to stop, but needing to because she felt as though she was being torn from herself, hollowed out, and when she sobbed out, "Oh, God Bee." he looked at her, and then he DID stop her, cupping her in his hands before she collapsed.

She'd awakened to find herself cradled in his arms the next morning, Bee himself being a pain in the aft, refusing to discuss what happened. To explain exactly what had happened, because Lex was sure she didn't entirely understand it.

Annoying. As hell.

That was okay. She had plans for Bumblebee.


	7. Bee vs Ice Cream, Smut Warning

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up, I've been busy, and I'm also working on two other fics. I'm in the middle of the third chapter for Ow My Foot: The Saga Continues, and I'm almost finished with a slash fic requested by a friend of mine. Unless the plot bunny does something extremely weird, there should only be a few more chapters and possibly an epilogue remaining for this story. After this chapter, the story will actually start to take some direction, and there will be (gasp) action instead of just angst and humor, and smut. . Hope ya'll enjoy (if there's still anyone reading this) cause ya'll sure waited long enough for it.

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease.

Disclaimer: SMUTASTIC! All characters are over 18.

Chapter 7

The day was already not going as Lex planned it. She'd been surprised by a visit from Sam, not that visits from Sam were at all unusual nowadays since Mikaela moved with her family; he spent a rather large chunk of his free time rattling around Lex's house, the problem was, she'd been expecting Bumblebee to come on his own. However, the Autobots had added a new addition to their base, and, like most men, wanted people to ooo and ahh over it.

Bee took Lex and Sam. Lex drove. Well, not really drove, more like, rode in the driver's seat and bullshitted with Sam. She also managed to talk Bee into heading to DQ for an ice cream. She got a banana-split and two spoons; her and Sam were sharing. It seemed like a good idea at the time...

...At least until Bee braked hard to avoid another car. Sam was right in the middle of passing the banana split back to Lex when they were both thrown forward by force of Bee's brakes. His tires squealed, and their barely eaten ice cream splattered all over his steering wheel.

Lex and Sam stared, speechless, at the horrible mess on the steering wheel for a full minute. It was barely recognizable as actually being a part of car it was so covered with bananas, chocolate, whipped cream, and soft serve. Lex pressed her legs against the bottom of the steering wheel in a vain attempt to keep the cold sticky mess from getting onto Bee's carpet.

Desperately trying to maintain a straight face, Lex said, "Sam, please tell me there are napkins in the bag. Lots of fucking napkins."

He closed his mouth and turned to the bag, quickly searching its contents, coming up a few seconds later to feebly wave one single, solitary napkin.

"Oh shit, we're boned. Do you have any in the glove box, Sam?"

Sam shook his head mutely for a minute, his whole body shaking with suppressed laughter. "Bee won't let me keep anything in here, he says it's embarrassing if there's shit rattling around when he transforms."

They would've been ok, if they hadn't looked each other in the eyes. As soon as green eyes met brown, Lex and Sam dissolved into helpless laughter. They laughed until tears ran down their faces and their sides ached.

Bumblebee was a little less than amused. "Neither of you are ever eating inside of me again. You'll walk first."

Then, "It's COLD!"

And, "I can feel it starting to run."

Followed by, "Don'tletitgetonthecarpet!"

Lex looked over at Sam, "Do you wash your hands when you pee?"

"No, I wash them AFTER I pee, dumbass."

Lex shot him a bird, and when he returned the gesture she smacked him in the head. Then she picked a piece of banana off the steering wheel, dipped it in the sticky ice cream concoction, and ate it. Sam grinned, shrugged, and used his finger to scoop up some ice cream. Soon they were both using their fingers as spoons, fighting over the banana slices, and enjoying the slightly melted ice cream.

"You two put your brains together and THIS is the Grand Plan that you guys come up with? You're going to eat it off??"

"We know where you're steering wheel's been." Lex said comfortably. She seemed to think for a second, then looked at Sam who was in the process of reaching for a bit more ice cream. "Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"It just occurred to me..."

"What did?"

"You're eating ice cream off a DUDE."

Sam froze. He turned so red Lex found herself starting to worry that his head might explode. "You couldn't keep that to yourself, could you? Could you? I didn't think of it like that till YOU pointed it out. I don't like you anymore. Don't talk to me."

Lex snickered. "I dare ya to lick some off."

Sam refused to look at her.

"Double dare ya."

He gave her a withering look.

"It's not hard, see?" Lex licked a path of clean onto Bee's steering wheel. She felt the Camaro shiver.

Sam went back to refusing to look at her. Time to pull out the big guns. The one thing NO teenage guy could resist:

"I. TRIPLE. DAWG. DARE. ya."

Sam narrowed his eyes, obviously thinking. No self-respecting teen aged guy could turn down a triple dawg dare, unless of course, he wanted to walk around knowing himself to be a sissy for all of his remaining years. Sam wanted no part of that. But, maybe..."If I do, and I'm not saying I WILL, I think you should make it worth my while. I mean, you are daring me to lick a GUY for your amusement."

Lex decided Sam was spending wayy to much time around her. He'd went from being sweet and bumbling to sweet, bumbling, and slightly manipulative. It kind of made her proud.

Seemingly oblivious to the ice cream steadily dripping in her lap, Lex said thoughtfully, "Fair enough. I'll owe you a favor. Call it in whenever you want, and I'll do whatever it is, as long as its within reason, AND as long as my cute little Bumblybee is cool with it." She'd added that last bit as an afterthought. Sam was a nice guy and a great kid, but he was still a teen aged boy, aka, a walking vat of hormones.

"Deal."

Sam sat there for a second. He took a deep breath, obviously screwing up his courage. Lex watched him, mildly amused. She fervently hoped that Bee was on her wavelength with this, if he was, it would make all the wheedling worthwhile. She thought he probably was, it was just a feeling she had, but she also knew she could be wrong. He'd been pretty Scroogetastic earlier, and had since lapsed into his customary silence. But she thought it might just be AMUSED silence.

Sam unfastened his seat belt, put his hand on the side of Lex's seat, leaned over and gave Bee's steering wheel the longest, wettest, and most slurpy lick he could muster. It wouldn't do to have Lex say he welshed. Not at all.

Bee shivered when Lex licked him, but when Sam did it, Bee shuddered, his Camaro form rocking on his shocks like he was caught in an earthquake. He moaned loudly, a guttural sound of pure pleasure before purring in a low seductive voice, "Oh, Sam, baby, that was just how I like it. Do it again."

"Buahahahahahahahahah!"

Sam's face glowed brighter than the sun. "You guys... make me sick. Seriously."

* * *

Embarrassing Sam had improved Bee's mood a good bit, and the scrubbing the two human's laid on his interior helped even more, though by the time they got back to Lex's place (sans Sam) Bumblebee was still a little huffy. They followed the long drive way to Lex's back door, and she climbed out of the drivers seat, stretching. Bee closed his door, and she leaned on it with one hip, gently rubbing his roof.

"I wouldn't mind soaking up some rays. Okay with you?"

He grumbled and shifted slightly on his shocks.

Grinning, "I'll take that as a 'yes'." Lex pressed a kiss to the center of Bee's hood, and jogged inside the house to change clothes. Well, in a manner of speaking, anyway...

A friend of hers, Jesse, had once told her that if a guy was playing hard to get, just to walk out naked in front of him. "If he reaches for ya," Jesse said knowingly, "he wants ya."

Lex had thought this was the most ridiculous advice she'd ever heard. She also thought she must have been nuts to ask Jess in the first place. Here was a guy, that spent 20 minutes making sandwiches he referred to as 'masterpieces' just so he could wolf them down in about five seconds flat. And God forbid he ran out of cheese or something. Personally, Lex was fairly certain that Jesse spent at least some of that prep time making love to his sandwiches, as much he was obsessed with them. Of course, it could just be that he really liked to eat, and probably was, but teasing him with the other possibility was pretty damn fun. Still though, Jesse- probably not someone you want take relationship advice from.

Until now.

* * *

Bee hummed softly to himself and settled lower on his shocks, getting comfortable. He lowered his windows, and started sifting through radio stations, trying to find some decent music. He was actually in a pretty good mood. The ice-cream incident hadn't annoyed him as much as he'd led on. Actually, said incident hadn't really annoyed him much at all, he just liked having his humans dote on him, cleaning his interior and trying to cheer him up. Even a Bumblebee could be a bit of a dog, sometimes.

He enjoyed sunbathing with Lex. There was something peaceful about soaking up the warm sun with her resting comfortably on his hood, soothing songs coming out of the radio. It was probably, he surmised, one of the closest things he'd come to having a perfect day.

He saw Lex exit the house out of the corner of his optic, dressed in her usual odd white covering she wore over her bathing suit. Still lost in his own thoughts and the search for the perfect music, he paid only vague attention to what Lex was doing, relying more on sensory touch than anything. He felt a soft, cloth wrapped container settle on his hood. Drink? Check. Bee smiled a little to himself- Lex could be a pain in his aft, but more often than not, she was thoughtful of him.

_I come out here prepared to get naked, and look at him totally not paying attention._ Lex wasn't sure HOW she knew it- Bumblebee's holo could be pretty damn inscrutable, but his car alt took the cake. He looked like a _**car**_ like that, it was pretty fucking impossible to know what he was doing at any given time in that form, but she was positive that he didn't have the foggiest idea that she was standing in front of him totally in the buff, suntan lotion in one hand, and her white short-robe in the other.

To test her theory, Lex mentally reached into her archive of old-timey dances, and did about 30 seconds of the (nekked) Monkey which degenerated into all out head banging after about 15 seconds. So it was the nekked-head-banging-Monkey. Good 'nuff. Lex watched Bee expectantly.

Nothing.

She scowled at him.

Still nothing.

Lex hopped lightly onto his hood, settling her bare ass against Bumblebee's smooth metal skin. She wadded up the white 'covering' as he called it, and chucked it at the right side of Bee's windshield.

She had his attention. "What the hell was that-" Bee's question trailed off into nothing as he re-focused his optic sensors on Lex's bare back. Her completely bare back. No cloth bathing suit straps there to break the expanse of smooth flesh. He watched her shoulder blades moving gently beneath her skin as she rubbed her hands together. Turning ever so slightly to one side, she started rubbing coconut scented sun tanning lotion on to her right arm, slender fingers stroking delicate flesh, over her bicep then across her shoulder and up the line of her neck. Lex rubbed her hands together again, transferring the tanning lotion from one hand to the other, before repeating the process on the other side.

_Primus_. She was driving him insane. When she twisted slightly to give her left arm its turn, the change in position revealed a brief glimpse of the soft swell of one breast. That's all she was allowing him, brief bits and pieces that made his processors want to over-heat because the lack of what she _wasn't_ showing him made his own imagination fill in the blanks. Tipping her head back, she rubbed lotion onto her neck and then lower. Bee could tell from the position of her arms that she'd moved on to her breasts, and he tried hard not to think about how badly he wanted to feel them in his holo-form's hands, or pressed against his chest.

From there she went to her thighs and legs, long and no longer atrophied, it was impossible to tell that he'd broken them so many months ago, what sometimes seemed a lifetime ago, and he wanted them so badly to be wrapped around his waist, dragging him closer, that it was an ache he felt throughout his yellow, metal body. It was need, pure need and desire, and when she shifted, resting on one hand to bring her oiled legs under her to kneel on her knees on his hood her skin moved against his metal like silk, and his groan could have never been mistaken for human. She rubbed her hands over her ass, working suntan lotion into the skin, slowly, before giving the cheeks a two handed slap, letting him see it all... giving him a show.

By the time he got it together enough to form his holo beside his car form, she'd already re-arranged herself on her back, and looked completely comfortable. He stared at her, blue eyes glowing, raking over her body, taking in the view she'd denied him earlier. He said nothing, and neither did she. Instead, Lex reached into her glass with her left hand, pulled out an ice cube, and popped it into her mouth, sucking on it gently, before transferring to her right.

When she opened her eyes, they were as inscrutable as his. Lex took a moment to admire his holo's body, clad only in a pair of yellow board shorts. He was lean and muscular without being scrawny or bulky, a perfect center between the two, and the small amount of body hair he'd given himself was fine, and blonde and looked _so_ soft she had to resist the urge to rub her face against his chest and instead trailed her melting ice cube down the fine happy-trail of hair that would eventually lead her to his groin. He caught her wrist when she got to the waistband of his shorts, gripping her not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to be slightly uncomfortable.

He didn't want to stop her. He wanted to take her right then and there, but she didn't understand the possible danger she was putting herself in, and that was his fault. He'd done his best to try and avoid this situation, hoping that Prime and Ratchet would find an answer or an explanation. No such luck. Somehow, Lex had managed to do the impossible: some basic, animalistic part of her body and being had not only heard his Spark call to her, but was answering it. There was no physical way for that to happen, Lex had no Spark, but it was, and he'd listened to Prime's and later Ratchet's hypothesizing on the subject, listing various outcomes to such a bonding attempt with her, and the one thing they'd both agreed on was the most horrible possibility of them all: It could very well kill Lex.

A few nights ago, he'd lost control, and the bond mating sequence had been initialized, and it had hurt her, he'd felt it, but she hadn't backed away from the fledgling bond that was being created, instead had reached for it with everything she had, and he'd only just barely managed to pull away from her to end it. He was afraid to make love to her, even in the strictly human sense of the act, afraid that if the bonding sequence started again, he wouldn't be able to stop.

So, he stood there, gripping her wrist, and in the pained voice of a man trying to talk while struggling to lift 350 pounds over his head he told her, "I could hurt you. I don't trust myself not to."

Lex looked at him, knowing he was telling her the truth as he saw it, but not caring. She was way past the point of caring. "Bee, I don't care if you skin me alive, as long as you're fucking me while you do it."

He hesitated only a second longer, then he took the sliver of ice from Lex's fingers, and traced it around one already hard nipple. She gasped at the painful tightening, and then groaned when the cold was immediately replaced by his warm mouth. He gripped the small bud, gently between his teeth, just biting down a little, before lashing at it quickly with his tongue. One of Lex's hands cupped the back of his head, pulling him closer, the other stroked the hard line of his erection, cupping him through his shorts. He thrusted his hips against her once, twice, grinding gently against her hand before pulling back and away.

He walked to his front end, standing in front of his grille. Lex noticed Bumblebee's hands were shaking as he grabbed her ankles, and dragged her down his hood, so that her thighs were pressed against his hips. She sat up, pulling him closer, wrapping herself completely around him. Bee kissed her roughly, his tongue invading her mouth, his lips abused hers, pressing against them almost hard enough to make them bruise before soothing the small pain with soft licks. She tugged at his shorts, and he caught her drift, making them disappear into the nothingness they came from, and he found his cock pressing into the soft junction of her thighs, and _oh, Primus_ she was so wet, so _ready_ for him, he knew the show she put on for him aroused her at least as much as it did him, and he was pressed against her entrance in about two seconds flat.

He needed the connection with her so desperately, his first instinct was to ram his way into her, to pound into her body, but he waited, shuddering, for Lex to give him what he needed. She shifted her position slightly, and with a quick flick of her hips, took his cock halfway inside of her. She dug her nails into the small of his back and kissed him harder, faster, and he sank as deep inside of her as he could get. Bee slid his hand between them, seeking the small, swollen bundle of nerves that made up her pleasure center before deftly stroking it. Lex broke their kiss, gasping for breath, panting against his shoulder, and he shifted her position slightly, moving her hips forward so that his cock stroked her clit with every thrust.

Tension and heat coiled in Lex's lower stomach, her muscles were tensing and oh God he felt so good, stretching her and filling her and she seemed to be running along a plateau of pure pleasure, reaching the peak way to fast- she wanted it to last but was unable to stop the rush, and right as she hit the pinnacle, Bee revved his engine, and the vibration under her shot through her entire body and she came, her scream muffled by his shoulder.

Lex's feelings for Bee seemed to swell up in one giant wave: love, friendship, passion, all combined, and Bee felt it wash over him, knew it was from her. Words felt too clumsy to him, too fumbling, so he sent her his feelings instead, like she'd accidentally sent hers, and he was positive she got the message because she pulled him closer, and held him tighter, and when his own pleasure became too much to contain any longer he wrapped his arms around her and they hugged each other as he shuddered his release.

It took a few minutes for them to come back to reality, and as soon as she did, the first thing Lex noticed was that she was hot, sweaty, and sticky. Bee seemed to notice the same thing because his passenger door popped open and he told her, "Get inside, I'll turn on the air conditioning."

"But I'm all sweaty and sticky."

"So am I."

"Yeah, but you can make your sweat disappear, ya damn cheater, I can't."

He picked her up, and pretty much shoved her inside himself (something that when she thought about it, made Lex giggle) "I don't care."

He appeared beside her in the back seat (total cheater) and they stayed there, not speaking, just snuggling and enjoying each other. Lex had questions, she'd received the feelings he sent her loud and clear, thank you very much, and while she was dying to know what happened and how that was possible, she didn't want to spoil their time with a bunch of questions. She knew he'd tell her when he was ready, and so resigned herself to waiting. Besides, her life had been full of the inexplicable... it wasn't a new set of circumstances for her.

In the spirit of not asking questions, Lex looked at her Bumblebee and said simply, "Again."

He stared at her with wide blue eyes.

Lex shrugged, "At least you can't tell me you're not a machine."

Bee snickered at her response, but did as she requested.

* * *

The next morning, Lex woke up to a rather delicious mauling. His fingers were Russian, his hands were Roman and his mouth was just flat obscene. Lex was getting ready to settle into the idea of doing some horribly naughty things to a 16 foot (and 2 inch!) tall robot's holographic projection when she noticed the time. Ten minutes before he was supposed to meet Sam.

Lex put her hands on his shoulders, pushing at him. "You're going to be late."

Bee shrugged in a way that clearly told her Sam would live. If anything, his tongue got even more obscene. She wriggled under him and he pressed her harder into her mattress.

"He's going to be disappointed."

"You are a killjoy." But there was amusement in his eyes, and he moved up, pressed a kiss to her forehead. Lex kissed his shoulder, just a quick peck, but he made as if to shove her back onto the bed again, and she smacked him. "Go!"

He gave her a wicked grin, and his holo poofed out of existence. Lex decided it was a shame she couldn't use him in a magic show. She got up, walked to the sliding glass door on the other side of her room, and waved when Bee flashed his lights at her before pulling out of his 'parking spot' and heading down her driveway.

* * *

Later that day, Lex sat in her basement workshop, finishing the project she'd been working on for the past months. The work had been painstaking, her fingers could attest to that.

She was fairly certain that what she was doing probably couldn't be considered bright, but she'd found this metal underneath her front porch, right next to the annoyingly large hole in wooden skirting, and well, the metal was too good to pass up. It hadn't taken long for her to put two and two together, and the answer she came up with was five, and she could be making a serious fuck up, and it might very well be dangerous. Fuck it, though, who wants to live forever?

And, stupid or not, Lex wasn't the type to ignore a challenge. And that's what this was, a challenge, a puzzle. Had she figured it out? She thought that perhaps she had, her metal working skills and a few subtle questions... well, here goes nothing.

The last thing she needed- a jolt of electric current. She'd decided her best bet would be one of the home defib units, specifically designed to be used by idiots, that came complete with a recorded voice to tell her exactly what to do.

"Stand back, I'm a doctor!" Lex said to no one in particular (ok, no one at all) before placing the pads of the small machine in what she hoped were the proper areas. She pressed the button and let the little medical machine do its work. By the second jolt, she got a twitch.

Frenzy was back on-line.

A/N: I actually do have a friend named Jesse, who actually does take 20 mintues to make (love to) his sandwiches, and that is the actual dumbass advice he gave me once. Unlike my OC, tho, I didn't take his advice because I really don't like to be rejected, and I'm fairly sure that being naked and rejected at the same time would just add a new item to my shrinks list.


	8. Interlude: Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?

A/N: This particular bit of the story demanded to be written, but didn't seem to really fit in with any of the future chapters, so... Interlude. It's much shorter than most of the other chapters, but well, hope ya like.

Interlude: Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?

Lex and Sam had spent the better part of the day in the shade of her backyard, stretched out on Bumblebee's chest, playing 'Name that Tune'. Lex had to give Sam this—he was good. She got a lot of the 80's songs, they were a bit before Sam's time, but otherwise, he was right on the money.

For the moment though, the game was over, and Lex snuggled in closer, as always amazed that a being composed of metal could possibly be so comfortable as Bee was. A nap was starting to look like a perfectly valid option.

At least until Sam sat up and asked her, "Were you serious the other day?"

Goodbye, soupy drowsiness. "I'm always serious."

"Bullshit." But said with a grin.

Lex sighed to herself and sat up as well. She cast a longing look at the expanse of Bee's chest before asking "What other day were you talking about?"

Sam shifted around, uncomfortable, picking nervously at the knee of his scruffy blue jeans. "When you said you'd owe me a favor. Were you... did you mean it?"

"Yes."

Sam was quiet for so long that Lex considered taking that nap she was craving, but decided that would be a bit callous and sat there instead, waiting for him to work up whatever he needed to continue.

Looking unwaveringly at Bee's foot, Sam said, "The senior prom is in a couple of weeks...Would you go with me?"

Lex cut a quick look at Bumblebee. She'd expecting something like this. Bee wasn't the type to spill his charge's horrible secrets, but he'd already told her that Sam was having a tough time of it since Mikaela moved to be with her family. She and Sam had broken up, rather than try to maintain the relationship long distance, but they'd remained close friends.

That Sam had understood. He loved his family to pieces, and he wouldn't begrudge Mikaela the chance to be with hers once her father had been released.

While everything was kosher with Sam and Mikaela themselves, at school, Sam hadn't fared so well. He'd caught some shit while he and Mikaela were still together—she had been one of the most popular girls in school, and to the student body, it appeared that Mikaela had left Trent, the school's rich football star, for Sam, the school's barely-there nerd. Repercussions were expected, but after Mikaela left, it got so much worse. Rumors flew everywhere, the most popular (propagated by Trent) being that Mikaela left because Sam was some sort of psycho stalker that wouldn't leave her alone. Lex knew there had been other things, too. Shouted insults from Trent and his friends, not to mention scuffles in the schoolyard. Either way, Bee had told her, Sam's chances for getting a date to the prom were slim. Even the students with nothing against Sam didn't want to go with him for fear of inciting Trent's wrath.

Lex had already been forewarned.

Sam was still staring at Bee's foot. "Of course I will. But save your owed favor for later, k?"

Blushing beet red, Sam finally turned from Bee's foot back to Lex, and gave her a somewhat goofy grin. Before he could say anything, she stopped him with, "Now, can we please get in a nap?"

She and Ratchet had went on a bit of a road trip the next day. Destination? Beverly Hills. More specifically, Rodeo Drive. J.C. Penny's could keep their shit. She wanted to knock Sam's, and everyone else's socks off.

Amazingly enough, it turned out that Ratchet actually had good taste in women's clothes. They picked out a slinky, reddish-gold gown that somehow managed to _not_ clash with Lex's dark red hair, but DID manage to hug all the right places. The guys at the prom wouldn't recognize it for the designer that created it, but the girls would. A pair of matching strappy heels, and Lex left with Ratchet, her heart and bank account feeling considerably lighter.

Two weeks later, standing in front of the mirror for one last check before Sam came to pick her up, and Lex felt even better about the money she'd blown. The whole ensemble came together really well. She wore discreet gold jewelry, and her hair was left to fall in large soft curls, but pinned away from her face with barrettes. She could be going to a prom, or she could be getting ready to walk down the red carpet.

_Shame I don't have any red carpet. I'd bring it with me and make someone roll that bitch out. That'd rock._

The doorbell rang at eight o'clock sharp, and as soon as Lex set foot in the living room, Ratchet was their, wielding her digital camera like a weapon. She submitted to having her picture taken no less than fifty times, before opening the door and letting Sam inside.

Lex smacked Sam lightly, "Put your eyes in your head and let the Hatchet take your picture."

Fifty more pictures later, and they were finally allowed to step outside. Funny thing was, if Lex didn't know any better, she'd say Ratchet's holo was starting to get a little teary-eyed. She gave Ratchet a kiss on the cheek before turning to Bee.

Dressed in his customary jeans and t-shirt, he leaned against the grill of... himself, smiling as much with his eyes as he was with his lips. "Your chariot awaits, milady."

Bee walked to her, and leaned in as if to kiss her, but Lex stopped him by planting her entire, spread out hand on his face.

"No, sir."

Slightly muffled by her hand, "Why not?"

"Because you'll screw up my make-up. Besides, I'm Sam's date tonight."

Still muffled, "But you kissed Ratchet."

Lex took her hand off his face, and patted his chest lightly. "That's different." Bee rolled his holo's blue eyes at her, but they were twinkling with amusement.

The yellow Hummer that was Ratchet snickered and said, "Yeah, that's different, lug nut."

Bee shot Ratchet a positively filthy look, before grinning at Sam and punching him lightly on the shoulder. "Lucky bastard, she never dresses like that for me."

Sam smoothed the front of his tux, and tried to look all-knowing. "I do have skills, my man."

Eventually, they did manage to leave Lex's house. She'd finally ended up smacking some asses, both human and holo. Sam had been a little shocked, Bee had given her a slightly hungry look, but reigned himself in, and disappeared with his customary 'poof'.

Sam had been a perfect gentleman, opening Bee's door for her to get in and out of the car, and he'd brought her a lovely orchid corsage that didn't clash with her gown in the slightest.

When they entered the gym, it seemed as though everyone stopped to stare. Especially Trent. He'd come with the second prettiest girl in school (well, the prettiest now that Mikaela was gone) and this chick Sam brought make her look fugly. How did Sam Witwicky manage to get a hot chick that was probably six years older than he was to go with him to the prom? Must be his cousin.

Had to be.

Trent watched them dance to about four or five fast tunes, then the redhead started walking towards the punch bowl and Captain Dipshit found his dork friend Miles, and talked to him.

Trent made his way to the punchbowl, to talk to the redhead.

"Hi, I'm Trent." He held out his hand to her.

Lex looked at his hand as if it were something disgusting, like a slug, perhaps, and didn't make a move to take it. "Lex."

She looked at him directly in the eye, completely self-assured. Trent found that frank stare a little intimidating, but when it slid past him and looked over his shoulder, he turned to look at what caught her attention. Sam was still talking to Miles, but he had his eye on Lex. So, the dork was worried? Good. Feeling bolstered, he looked back at the hot chick before him.

"Why not dump the Serf so you can have the King?"

Lex's eyes gave him a slow once-over, starting at the top of his head and moving slowly to his feet before starting to travel back up, only to linger just below his belt. He didn't seem to have much behind his zipper.

"Sorry. I don't play with little boys. I guess Daddy's money can get you everything but a bigger dick, huh?"

Seemingly oblivious to Trent's reddening face, and the loud snickers coming from behind them, Lex finished her punch, threw away the cup and walked back to where Sam had been. He was on his way to meet her, and she slipped into his arms like she belonged there, before pulling him to the dance floor once again.

Sam looked back at Trent, then at Lex, "Was he bothering you?"

She waved away his concern, and put her arms around his neck. "Let's dance slow."

"The music is fast."

"So."

Sam slid his arms lightly around her waist, careful not to touch too much. This however, earned him a reprimand. "Sam, Bee's not going to suddenly rip the roof off the place and tear you limb from limb if you put your hands on me. Loosen up."

Sam did as he was told, pulling her against him, and Lex pulled him closer in turn, and they danced that way, a slow sway to fast song. He buried his face in her neck, and felt her hand caressing the back of his. Her warm breath against his ear made him shiver, and Lex held him tighter. The rest of the world seemed to drop away into nothing, like he was blind and deaf to all except her. He felt Lex's full lips moving against his ear, whispering above the music so that only he could hear her.

"My... older brother is a homicide detective in Toronto. He told me once, that he can always tell if a perp has a concealed weapon. He said it's in the way they walk, full of confidence, like they're ten feet tall and bullet proof."

Sam wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about. The subject had come out of the blue, and he was _trying_ to pay attention to her words, and he was absorbing them on some level, but her lips and breath on his ear were turning into sharp spikes of pleasure, and he could feel the hard length of his arousal pressing into her stomach. Embarrassed, he tried to pull away.

Lex refused to allow it, whispering to him, "Shhh... it's ok. Bee won't be angry or hurt. It's ok." A light hint of her tongue against his ear nearly made him moan, but he stifled the sound, pressing his face back into her shoulder. They still danced, and her body swaying against his was rubbing his erection causing unbearable friction. He was trembling, muscles tense. A fine sheen of sweat covered his face. He was standing here, in the middle of the prom, slow dancing with his best friends mate, and he was going to come in his pants in less than a minute.

"You saved the world, Sam. Everyone on this planet, everyone in this room owes you their lives, even if they don't know it. I think that gives you more right than anyone to walk like you have a gun in your pocket."

He smiled against her neck at her words, and the next thing he knew, her mouth was on his, soft and wet. He opened his mouth to her, meeting her tongue with his, entwining them, her hand gripping the back of his neck, nails digging lightly into the skin there. Sam thought dimly, _Maybe she's right_, and his hands gripped her ass brazenly, pulling her up and against him. He felt the hot, sticky rush of his release. Sam's whole body shuddered in pleasure, his soft cry lost in their kiss.

It took a few seconds for Sam to pull himself together. He glanced quickly around the room, to see if anyone had noticed anything. All clear. Except for maybe Trent. He was staring at both Sam and Lex, gaping. Sam smirked to himself. Well, no one that was important noticed anything. He looked at Lex and saw equal parts amusement and arousal in her eyes.

"Bee won't be mad?" he asked quietly.

"Nope."

"I want to take care of you, too."

Lex smiled at him. She knew what Sam meant, and thought it was sweet, but she was all too aware of the fact that Bee DID indeed have his limits. She'd felt Bee's interest, and had sent him her side of the encounter through their rather strange, but handy, bond. She wasn't entirely sure, but she thought it might have turned the little yellow bot on. Lex wondered briefly if Bee would be open to the concept of a threesome.

_Maybe..._

_Perv..._

"I'm not sure if Bee would go for that."

"He can't blame me for trying."

They giggled and Sam said, more seriously, "Look, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and clean up a bit. Wanna blow out of here when I get back?"

"Whatcha got in mind?"

"B-grade drive-in double feature with Bee and Ratchet?"

"Deal."

Two holos and two humans piled on Ratchet's roomy hood to watch 'Why the Dead Hate the Living'. Lex sat in the middle, Ratchet on one side, Sam on the other. She had her arms around both of their shoulders. Bee was sprawled across Ratchet's hood like he owned it. Lex, still wearing her dress, but having taken off the shoes, propped her feet up on Bee's back. Sam kicked off his dress shoes, and propped his feet up on Bee's back as well. Bee looked over at him, and shot him a bird. Sam just grinned and shrugged, and blew Bee a kiss.

Lex giggled at the lot of them, and relaxed against Ratchet's windshield, glad to be surrounded by her boys. At least until she got hungry, and sent Bee and Sam off for snacks and drinks.

After about 15 minutes, Lex and Ratchet watched them come back, toting enough food to feed an army.

"What did you do to Sam, Lex?"

Lex arched an eyebrow in question.

"He's different somehow. The way he carries himself. It's like he has more confidence."

Lex smiled softly. "He walks like he has a gun in his pocket."

A/N: Really couldn't resist rubbing Trent's face in a bit of sandpaper. I like it when assholes get the shit, and the underdog wins. Couldn't resist a bit of smut either. .


	9. RedHanded

Collateral Damage

Chapter 9: Red-Handed

"Sam!" said Lex, in barely a whisper.

"What?" said Sam, for some unknown reason, also whispering.

"I need you to come over here, like, right now." Still, with the whispering.

Feeling a little foolish, Sam decided to stop whipsering. He was starting to feel like one of those fuck-up spies in the cheesey action flicks. "Why?"

"Sshhhhhhhhh, not so loud. For Pete's sake are you trying to wake up your whole neighborhood??? I don't have time to explain, just get over here, it's important."

Sam rubbed at his face. Ten in the morning was way to early for the cloak and dagger stuff. "Ok, ok, I'll get some clothes on, get Bee and--"

"No! Don't bring Bee. I don't want him to know just yet."

Sam sighed. This was just getting more and more difficult. But he was intrigued. About that he couldn't lie. His brow furrowed, and he went silent for a minute, trying to come up with any excuse that seemed an even slightly plausible reason to go running off somewhere _without his car_. "Ok, so no Bee. If I ride my skateboard a good ways from the house, can you pick me up?"

Lex hesitated. Sam could almost hear the gears turning in her skull. "No, I don't think it would be wise for me to leave the house right now. I think it would be bad, actually. But like, if you get a good distance from your place on your skateboard, and call a cab, I will pay the fare when you get here."

Now, more than a little worried, and a lot intrigued, Sam told her he'd be there in about 15 minutes, and went to make some excuses to his car.

* * *

Lucien Lacroix was not at all amused. Vachon had managed to escape unscathed after making his report (he'd been wise enough to leave out the kinkier bits of what he'd seen), but just barely.

Not that the lack of Vachon's damage was a sign of kindness or weakness. Far from it. He just wasn't sure he believed everything he heard. According to Vachon, his wayward daughter was consorting with giant robots (that could maybe be Japanese?). The story made no sense. Lucien leaned gracefully against the bar of his club, The Raven, and looked on as his employees, a motley mix of humans and vampires, readied the club for tonights business. In all honesty, he didn't really _see_ much of anything. He was too busy thinking. There had been more than one occasion when after drinking a crackhead or some other junkie, Vachon had had what humans called 'a bad trip'. If that were the case, Vachon's sight wasn't trustworthy. However, Vachon had sworn he hadn't touched any junkies, and Lacroix would know if he were lying.

And, what if he was, by some leap of the imagination, telling the truth? After all, Lacroix knew that vampires existed, and while he wasn't sure if any were still amongst the living, he'd encountered a werewolf or two in his time. In this age of technological advancements, giant robots didn't seem to be too much of a stretch. Hell, when he was a great general of the Roman armies, if someone had shown him a working lightbulb, he would have thought it either witchcraft, or a gift from the gods. Now, he took them for granted. Besides, if Vachon's story was accurate, his daughter could be in danger, and that was unacceptable.

If he got some of his human employees to load his coffin onto his private jet, he could easily be in Tranquility tonight.

* * *

The little four-eyes robot Lex had managed to ressurect was, to say the least, a handfull. He'd been afraid at first, zooming all around her basement workshop, thinking that perhaps she was fixing to attempt some murder. When he finally settled down, he thanked her profusely in his high-pitched stuttering voice, and insisted on calling Lex "Savior" though she asked him repeatedly not to. Afterwhich, he wrapped her leg in bone crushing hug. That was how she'd gotten him out of the basement, and into the kitchen-- with him holding her leg.

Four-eyes had promptly spotted her cell phone, an LG EnV3, scanned it, and pitched it across the room. Then he transformed into an exact replica of her phone. Lex didn't need a translator for _that_ little message to be clear. Evidently, four-eyes wanted to be her cell phone. The problem with that was, Lex often carried her phone in her back jeans pocket. Lex wasn't so sure she wanted that freaky little spazz sitting right next to her ass all day.

Then... well, then, he'd found the coffee.

In no time flat, he'd brewed enough coffee to fill the sink and was currently wallowing in it, much like Elizabeth Bathory must have wallowed in the blood of her victims. On top of all this, Lex had called Sam, and she hoped like hell that he did as he said, and did NOT bring Bee over, because Ratchet was due home at like any time, and that was bad, because she had a sneaking feeling that maybe Ratchet wouldn't be all that happy with her recent recreational activities.

Looking at the disaster area her kitchen had become, Lex wasn't so sure how happy she was right now, either.

Then she heard the sound of the cab's engine. Thank God, something to keep her mind off the mess. Her purse was sitting on the kitchen counter. Lex snatched it open, grabbed fifty bucks and ran for the door. She opened it as Sam was about to knock, shoved the money in his hand, and told him to tell the cabby to keep the change.

When Sam got back from the cab the second time, Lex was still waiting for him at the door. It was wierd, too. He could hear strange noises coming from the kitchen, almost like metal scraping metal. He stopped just outside her door. "Hey Lex, what's with all the racket in there?"

In answer, Lex just grabbed him by the hand, and let him to the kitchen. By the time they got there, Frenzy had hopped out of the sink and was busily going through Lex's purse, where he'd evidently found her Driver's License.

As soon as Sam saw Frenzy he yelled, "He stole my pants!!"

Before Lex could even begin to fathom the meaning in _that_, Frenzy, somehow managing to gleefully snicker and stutter at the same time, held up Lex's license and announced, "Your n-n-name is L-Lexington?"

Sam briefly forgot about his pants upon hearing about his friend's misfortune and asked, "Isn't that a street in New York or something?"

"My name is Alexia, that's how I sign all of my art."

Still brandishing the license, Frenzy said, "It _says_ Lexington."

"My father is a sick man, ok?"

Sam got himself smacked by asking, "Is your middle name Avenue?", to which he and Frenzy both spent some time snickering at.

After a few minutes, or months, one or the other, Frenzy left the kitchen at warp speed to skitter around the rest of the house. Sam managed to put on a somewhat serious face and said, "Lex, how did he get here, he's a _Decepticon_. He's evil and out to destroy human civilization."

"Well, if he keeps taking coffee baths in my kitchen sink, he might be able to pull it off." Sam gave her a hard look, and Lex continued on, trying to explain. "Look, I found him under my front porch about a month or so ago. He was torn to pieces, something or someone pulled him apart like a puzzle. I just wanted to see if I could put him back together."

Frenzy zoomed by carrying Lex's laptop, heading towards the living room.

"Where are you going with my computer?"

"F-Fixing it."

Lex rubbed her face tiredly. "I didn't think it would actually work, ok? But it did, and like, I tried to, ya know, set him free. I mean, I'm not stupid, I figured he wasn't an Autobot, if he was, I'm sure I would have heard something from Bee or Ratchet. I figured he was one of the other ones, the bad ones, but I thought, since he wasn't that big, if I let him go, no harm no foul. Its not like I resurrected that big one, Megatron."

"If you tried to let him go, why is he still here?"

"He didn't want to go. He begged me to let him stay, and started babbling something about 'they are always mean to me'. What was I supposed to do?"

Lex was begining to worry about Sam. He was sweating profusely and constantly scrubbing at his head, like a bee was stinging him or something.

"Lex, you don't understand. This could be like, some kind of Decepticon plot to use you as leverage against the Autobots, or something, I don't know. I just know this can't be good."

In answer, Lex grabbed him by the hand once more, and started dragging him off to her basement workroom. "I have something to show you." She went to her workbench, still strewn with bits of wire and tools, and picked up something that Sam couldn't quite identify. She turned to him, and held out her hand, and then he realized what they were. She was holding a handful of blackened, blistered microchips, far more advanced than anything he'd ever seen inside his computer.

"They come from four-eyes up there. When I rebuilt him, I left these out, they were just too damaged. I'm no expert, but these look almost like, memory chips or something. Do you think maybe he's not acting very Decepticon-y because he doesn't have these anymore?"

"I don't know, Lex. This is WAY out of my league. We'd need to ask Ratchet.... oh God, oh God Ratchet! Oh, he is going to be so _pissed_...."

"I know."

"And, Bee, he's going to be pissed, too. Hell, they're ALL going to be pissed!"

"I _know_! But we have to tell them Sam."

"What's this 'we'?"

Lex glared at him as though he was no more than a traitor and a coward and Sam relented, "Ok, you're right. How the hell are WE going to tell Ratchet?"

Lex opened her mouth to answer, but was interupted by the _poof_ of a holo forming in the basement work shop. Looking thunderous, eyes roving the room for a wrench of some sort Ratchet growled, "He already knows."

* * *

A/N: It's odd. It's been so long since I've worked on this fic, but I still had no problems getting right back into the story line. Once again, I'm still using Wordpad, and the Spell checker here on FF is just not working for me, so please, I can't spell. If you see something glaring, feel free to point it out.

April Raven Girl: Thanks for getting me motivated on this again, I hope you like this chapter, and I'm already planning the next. XD


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